Why does the narcissist consider you an enemy when you really loved her?

Marie Schneider has already put it beautifully.I would add the following for myself:

The N cannot accept any blame for his bad actions, since he must classify each action as justified in order to maintain the image of his perfection in himself (primarily).For outsiders, it is obvious that word and deed are not congruent, that a cheat pack is on the way here. The narcissist also knows that if he proclaims loyalty and yet goes alien, these are two disjunctogen sets. He is aware of this, because otherwise he would be ineligible.

So how does he get out of this dilemma?Nature has set it up to make displaced and subconsciously visible proportions in the outside. Mirroring. The projection is something else, however, because these displaced shares are now passed on to the other person, where the guilt can now be determined and combated. And that’s up to you.

That is, the N knows very well when he lies, but the defense to resolve the contradiction is unconscious.What does this look like?

You just won in chess.That was a big mistake!

The N is still in place, but a hurricane is already raging in it.It was a normal game for you and you’re already going to the next item on the agenda. But you feel — something is in the air. It is intangible. It smells a little like sulfur. You ask with the apple peeling quite caringly, if he also wants a piece. That was your second big mistake tonight.

N: Obviously you think that I am also incapable of this and that my intelligence is not enough to cut my own apple.I would ask you to stop these passive-aggressive games now.

Of course, you don’t understand the connections again and even more you don’t suspect that it had anything to do with the game before.(Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of time to think about everything.) Because when your queen forced his king into the checkmate, it was a personal battle announcement (for the unconscious parts in the N. and now trigger the defense). It wasn’t a game, you understand? – but your joy 鈥?to have won your sadistically vile joy over him, to have defeated him, to dominate him, to have positioned him inferiorly, to have forced him into the dirty dust 鈥?which made it clear to him that there was no love affair on an equal footing here. but you have deliberately and obviously tried to destroy it with full enthusiasm. That was a game-changer.

The problem is, while you were playing a chess game, he had identified with the game 鈥?because he is the white, immaculate grandiose king and you the deadly black widow.

It wasn’t even that you won this game, it was your LAUGH.Flashing in your eyes when you beheaded him, skewering his head on a lance, and grinding his carcass on a rope through the village. That moment had changed everything. You haven’t been on his side for a long time. You don’t just look after him today. You are the Antichrist and he had trusted you unsuspectingly. Love was a farce from the beginning. There is no love to be found here, and where there is no love, there is no loyalty.

Voila.

You may have won the battle, but he wins the war. Maybe not…….

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