Why does someone with Borderline constantly ask for your attention?

People with a cluster B disorder have little to no ability to recognize their needs and make them clear in a healthy way.Every person has needs and boundaries. When you are not recognized by yourself and others you remain seated with constant pressure, loneliness, fear pain and despair. This is a desperate attempt to “appease” these people by continually demanding the attention and presence of others, because even to ask for healthy attention, she does not succeed. These people are stuck in a chronic cry for help: Save me, the pain is too much. But even the help that is offered, they often do not recognise them as appropriate to their problems. Although someone with this disorder is also often violent and downright irritating and even destructive (also for the unopponents); There is always a form of extreme pain in the person who is ultimately out of despair and inability to show this behavior. And in my opinion, the care is very short. Even the GGZ takes/can not take the time and please to help these people well, and then it comes down to the people in the vicinity of these patients, and yes, then it often become total crap storm.

My hope is also that eventually clusterB disorders are flickering out and it’s going to fall under (full) inability to learn from themselves and to recognize boundaries, emotions and needs.Everyone would be a cow, in my opinion, nothing to do with a disturbance in the personality.

I unfortunately have to get a lot of contact with people with a clusterB label, and that’s one of the number of reasons my PTSS.I know how heavy and manipulative these people can be. But I also see what lies below, and the terrible mistakes in the care that these people often make even more violent. Psychiatry also often creates its own borderliners. These disease images should take on a whole different bow, and the care should also just get the time and support to look again at these types of problems, it runs terribly out of control.

Attention = Validation of the self, in people who have learned to base their self-image on what others find of them, and base their own value on them.

Thoughts become words, words become deeds, deeds become habits, and habits become character.This character and the (own) assessment and adaptation (for survival) of it becomes personality/ego.

This ego arises in the youth, and is strongly influenced by environmental factors.A positive validating parent who also see Whole object Relations (not black and white thinking/good-bad) and Object Consistency (not everything unrelated to context, past etc, and how people, feelings and events are Do not relate to a link between feeling and cause), let the child grow up with a healthy self-image and thus, in life, it will generate positive attention later by giving positive attention.This person experiences feelings as internal realities with a clear right to exist.

As in the education that WOR and OC miss, the child grows up with a reality in which everything is either good or bad, and does not see any links between things.This child cannot develop a healthy ego, and a ‘split ‘ will happen.A good version of itself and a bad version (although they were a false-self/created self-image) (The real self is suppressed and not developed, because that was not safe)

There is also a major disturbance in the reality experience through the use of cognitive dissonance, which prevents the pain from being localized/recognised internally (surviving) and not associated with the traumas, and external causes are sought in the now, for which reality/facts are twisted for themselves, ALSO about themselves, leading to that false ego/self-image.

Seeking validation by others, OR experiencing devaluation = unconscious re-perception of the trauma so that the feelings DO have a statement in the now = also cognitive dissonance again.

All of the above (especially the lack of WOR in education) thus leads to that ‘ split ‘, where the ‘ good false self ‘ with played ‘ goodness ‘ continuously seeks external validation and expects, 芒 鈧?娄… and the ‘ evil false self ‘ with Imagined ‘ wickedness ‘ Validation is looking for (negative attention).In short, the two false-selfs must therefore always be validated by attention,

There you become bipolar of it, yes

You set the wrong question.The essential question is: what characterizes a borderline personality disorder and what ways to control it does the person with the disorder apply to deal with it?

The essence of the disorder is the inability to properly regulate emotions: emotions depend heavily on external stimuli.In addition, there are some specific “borderline” features that tell something about the person’s relationship to himself/herself and others in a more intimate relationship (family). Either: It is an emotion regulation disorder that is out in the relationship.

Constantly asking for attention is therefore excluded, because this gives a unilateral picture of the problems.The problem is that there is (emotional) instability, which causes the relationships to become unstable themselves and others. There is a controlling behaviour to itself and the environment, the latter being in attracting pleasurable stimuli (the search for attention) and the divestment of unpleasant stimuli (excluding by self-closure or aggressive behavior) .
Because in a relationship to others, you can never unilaterally conclude incentives, an interaction in which “attract and repel” follow each other, depending on the condition of the person with the disorder.

As a practical example:
The person with the disorder (BPD) expects from the partner that the dishes are done.The partner does not do this, which leads to a negative emotion in the BPD (in combination with many other factors) leads to a negative spiral in the “seeing” of the other. The negative aspects are increasingly magnified and the positive reduced, until only the negativity remains. At the same time, the urge to solve the problem is continuing, which results in extreme behaviour (and possibly aggression).
The situation escalates, after which a “fracture” occurs because either one of the two is tapping into the situation (conscious or fleeing).Once the “fracture” and fact is, the negative stimulus is gone and the BPD comes to rest, after which the feelings of missing the relationship slowly emerge. These, like the negative emotions, are getting stronger, which means that the pulling side is playing, searching for the pleasurable stimulus that is also present in the relationship. However, because the partner is not perfect there will be a moment when a negative incentive arises, which puts the process back in motion.

Depending on your position in relation to the BPD, you are more or less aware of the repelling aspects, someone who is further away will experience the repelling factors much less because the BPD simply shuts down.Then only the migratory factors remain visible, if the BPD needs it. One who is nearer knows that the repelling and pulling factors (related to the “splitting” of positive and negative properties of people who are close to the relationship) alternate, and that depending on the relationship the repelling Factors can express themselves in shutdown or repel, where the latter can lead to aggression towards the other or himself.

The Borderline personality disorder is a very troublesome disorder for relief workers and researchers because this concerns an internal problem (emotional instability) which is out in the relationship.The dynamics can only be properly investigated “in the relationship”, where it is unstable (the BPD breaks down “the relationship” with the rescuer very easily).

I want to answer your question to start with another question.

Why do you think borderlines always ask attention?

Do you know that many borderlines are the exact opposite?

That they dare not pay attention to themselves.That they always ignore themselves for others. That they are often mischievous for this image of borderline.

Borderline is not 1 fixed type.It all or nothing. It is attention questions or avoiding attention.

Too strong or too much detached.And not everything is at every borderliner.

Idere is has intense emotions. Some learn to deal with this.Every thing they feel challenge and test for truth. This costs tremendous energy.

And as Belonig they get a sticker on their heads with prejudices.If they finally dare to give it wrong… then they hear “the is asks again Aadacht”

And if. They then end up keeping everything for themselves.And some thus exhausted an end to make their lives come through the borderline. And not by all blunt prejudices. Easy though.

Yes now I have asked your attention.Yes I am a patient that is borderline diagnosed. A few years back I was told that I was so well under control that I would no longer be diagnosed as is.

Guess what芒 鈧?娄.For everyone I keep the borderliner. Because that one time I can’t keep my emotically is all that everyone else knows.

Long live the prejudices!

Leave a Reply