Why do people go outside?

You are seventeen or a little older and you are in love.immortal. You swear eternal love, and you mean it that way. Nothing fits between you, and it should remain so.

You get married, you get older, you make new experiences: personal, professional and private.You learn the weaknesses of your wife, who no longer takes your consideration as before. You are developing, your partner too, possibly in a different direction. You feel the frustrations of everyday life, you have to live with failures and reproaches. Then suddenly you get to know someone who understands you again. Even with your quirks and weaknesses. He compliments you and gives you the feeling of one-off again. And who desires you, just as you seem to have not been coveted for a long time. You feel insanely flattered, but you still know all this far from you. Have all sorts of reasonable arguments, but then your feelings outwit you. You wonder why not? And then comes the opportunity or it is brought about. Usually with an apology to calm your initial bad conscience. But then you move on – without a bad conscience.

And now there are two possibilities.Either you separate yourself from your wife and start a new life. Probable result: in a few years, the same (see above). Or you don’t separate and become a notorious side jumper. The adrenaline of every new sidestep is the kick for your boring life. And you’ll love yourself when you sleep with two or three women (in a row) a day. Wow, tell yourself, what a great pike I am.

But in the end – and this can happen very quickly – you stand alone and probably very lonely in front of a heap of shards and feel infinitely miserable.No more trace of the great pike. Only with a lot of alcohol can you remember the past times. When the Sabber runs down you, you lift the vodka bottle trembling and a little bit of the great women. But waking up is sobering and painful.

I have only been married for forty-seven years.I got to know many women with whom I got along well. Some of them I found captivating. They may have been younger, prettier, smarter or more successful than my wife. But I had once chosen my wife “until death divorces us.” And I felt most like a “great pike” when I solve the big and small problems with her, when I look at my two wonderful children, when my five grandchildren like to come to us often. It makes me happy to know that in old age I have a strong partner on whom I can rely blindly and who catches me with all my infirmities and weaknesses. It makes us strong to be there for each other.

This may not always be easy.Nor is it always successful. But it is many times better than the ex and hop mentality of today, where small occasions are enough to end a relationship or take a sidestep. Love is work, relationship work with a wonderful reward.

PS: I chose the male form.Of course, this also applies to women. We are also emancipated in this respect.

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