Long ago I was the one who borrowed money and then disappeared.
It is not that I had bad intentions: it was just that I could not repay this money, and I was ashamed of it deeply.
I couldn’t cope with the blame, so denial was an easier choice.
It took all my courage to face this overwhelming guilt and contact the 2 people to whom I owed money.I told them about my guilt and shame, explained my financial difficulties, and offered to repay every month in small institutions.
They welcomed it both.And although they did not distror me from being angry with me, our friendship was ruined.
I feel very bad because they have helped me out of kindness, and I totally ruined it.For us, but also for other people who could have/wanted to help in the future.
That’s why I have a new rule: no matter what, I borrow no more money.
I have worked for 15 years as a credit manager at a large NL bank abroad and have provided lots of people, lots of loans.The big common denominator was usually: greed. To fund material matters without having the means to do so. Private I have long suffered through damage and shame. If I can miss T then I like to help friends or family, but never by people to “borrow” cash money. I would rather ask where someone needs the money. Are T foods? Then we do messages together. Is it an account? Then I make it over to the relevant instance or try with Betr. Authority to take a settlement for you. I am sure that no misuse of me is made, or IIG does not feel that misuse of me is made in this way. People who borrow money from another do that M.I., however, usually because they are either in debt, or live above their stand or, in the worst case, intend to make an abuse of the goodness of the other in advance. In those cases, you may assume that you can wait a long time for reimbursement or to whistle completely.
I once had a bosom friend.That is someone to whom you entrust everything. Bosom friendships arise especially in adolescence when a young man is just from mothers pappot and the nest heat he secretly misses is looking for at a male age mate. They are hetero commitments that have a stronger intimacy than ordinary friendships. At first I looked up at him because of his with me compared athletic and imposing appearance. I also found him a more attractive guy for women than myself, but he was much less active in that area than I did.
After some time I discovered that the relationship was stuck differently than I thought, he turned out to be very strong on me though he knew to hide that pretty well.I proved belezener, mentally more stable, disciplinally and more cheerful than he. His true form of light backstabb was becoming clearer to me, but I didn’t want to yet. With me he did not only get his mental inspiration, also mostly his food, which I still did not mind.
Until he also started borrowing money from me.He was always flatsack though he received as much as I did. I saw the money back after some insistence but I had to insist more and more frequently and the intervals were longer. Until at a certain moment he asked a banknote of fifty guilders, for me at that time a bite from my budget that I should wait long for, I knew, before I would get it back. I was tight with Kas for weeks, and I was less comfortable in my skin. Then, all of a sudden, I decided it had been enough. Meanwhile, I lived on a half budget and he was at one and a half, which became too gortig.
I looked at him and said, I have a lot to the Oriental quotes book and I know an appropriate saying that I am going to pronounce now.It reads: Whoever lends money, ends a friendship. He reacted shocked and angry, even screamed. But his words found no purpose more with me, I had taken my decision. Our relationship went downhill from then on. We saw each other increasingly less, with more collisions, until he disappeared from my life for good. It turned out to be a true saying, that when pronouncing worked like a spell.
Usually for one of two reasons.Or shame because they can not repay it. Or greed, of which they find material things more important as friendship.
You can guess three times.
I never experienced it!I always get my money neatly back. I have borrowed someone 18000 euro, and have gotten 24000 back with interest.
Because they cannot (more) pay back.On the one hand, they are ashamed, but on the other hand still have to keep themselves and their neighbors (partner, children) I live. Maybe better also to put an end to a family or friends relationship. Guilty and help (ST) to let every hair or his own way: out of the eye, out of the heart.
Then you should not borrow them money maybe they will stay longer.
When my glass washer is paid in one way or another, I don’t see him for months.He also deserves nothing more, so it doesn’t seem convenient to me. Some people go really strange with money and debts.