Because of the fear that our needs are not met and we will be treated unjustly.It is the obsession to want to get you right and fetch.
Every man has in fact three desires: money, Sex and power.These are also symbolic concepts that represent our desires in the broadest sense.
Money offers us means of existence.Survival, shelter, food and medication and to develop us.
This represents our need for recognition.Appreciation. Respect and love, the desire to be cherished and to connectedness.
The desire for success, you can develop, be able to realise your ambitions, enjoy freedom and use and influence.
This is often easier said than done.As a saying goes: where two exchanges, one must cry.It requires a lot of confidence and willingness to be genuinely open to each other’s interests, both relational and beyond.
It is the reason that Jesus advised to consider people more important than yourself.Mind you: He actually meant that you should do and act as if they were more important.That is what is different from what is really more important, which would lead to legal inequality and abuse of power of the ‘ multiple ‘.
Why this call?He could also have called for equality. But then you will tend to concentrate on your own interest. It seduces you to think again in 50 -50% results and similarities, also in relationships. He wants to make us willing to be benevolve and to lay down the armor.
So We are not talking about slavish or exaggerated indulgence, but a positive attitude towards the other and their interests, to create a win-win situation, goodwill but above all: trust and the sense of belonging, peace and security .
This means relational so dare to let go of control.Take risks, give confidence, exercise fragility and reflection. That takes a lot of courage, is goes with trial and error. And is also not always rewarded. But it is the only way to work really sustainably on relationships.
Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on why do we often expect a partner to possess similar characteristics?The reason I ask this is because I often know in my area that in relational matters the desire is often in adaptation.