Empatisch are most people, but we are talking about people who have this property excessively.Narcisten are attracted to what they do not have. They often choose vulnerable empathic people who have the responsibility for things that run wrong rather than with the other. Someone with (too) much empathy often takes over 50% of the responsibility in a relationship in itself. And will more easily push his or her boundaries. “He might not have meant it wrong.” ‘ He had a bad day ‘. “I could not have said that better than he had not hurt.” Etc. Etc. That is exactly what a narcissist needs to be able to feel good. For he/she will always place the blame for everything outside himself and lay on the shoulders of another. Also the repetition of the idealization and devaluation phase, which narcissists do in a relationship, would not be possible with a partner who is less empathic and thinks more of himself. Such a partner will leave earlier. What is still a stronger match is the bond between a narcissist and a codependent.
Empathic people come across as ‘ weaker ‘ and thus easier to make prey and in addition easier to draw yourself as the superior.And one’s great empathy can actually provide more tolerance and thus more opportunity to do narcissistically annoying. Possibly also naiver and less fast outgoing/having the narcissist his/her wrong intentions.
To have said that, do not stop being empathic, if you are.It’s only good to be so. Just also recognize that many others have no good intentions.
Is that so?
My ex narcissist went to bed with everything and everyone.
Men and women.
Sexclubs, and massage houses.
But the most exciting for him is to go to bed with someone who shouldn’t actually.
As the daughter of the girlfriend, the married neighbor, whose husband does not know, or more fun yet, the neighbor, as the neighbor, his wife, do not know.And the sweetest in the wedding bed, if you’re not at home. Or the wife of Zn’s best childhood friend. And if he has ensured that the woman leaves her family in the lurch for that man, he will leave her just as easily for another woman. The more exciting and ‘ Illegaler ‘ the better for him.
There is no magical attraction to a BEP kind of partner.My ex has no ‘ type ‘ where it goes more in the back.
What I do suspect is that BEP people are more pecking and better at adorating their partner.Something the narcissist both really needs. And with those people they stay longer, and play their emotional games with them.
I am very good at adoring when I get that feeling back.
Only he is right on the pavement when I notice that things are not as I thought, and I was told it was.(not literally, but emotionally)
Because and because narcissists and empates are similar to head and coin:
A narcissist thinks mainly of himself and can show no or limited empathy (in gradations).
An empaat thinks mainly of another and has difficulty in caring for themselves/thinking about themselves/being selfish (also in gradations).
Since life itself is always looking for a balance, it is obvious that these 2 people look up each other.
A person can also be an empaat and a narcissist:)
You might think… Waaaaaaaaaat?!
An empaat who was brought up by a narcissist for example, can take over the traits of the narcissist.That way, like the narcissist, ie feels the weak spot of another… And absorbs his energy, by responding like an empaat to obtain energy.
The difference with a pure narcissist is that these empates can become ordinary empates again, with a lot of background knowledge about narcissists and thus:
-No need for narcissists
-The narcissists know their manipulative tricks.
How do I know/understand that last?!
I am an empaat myself, but was an empathic narcissist.I worked very much on myself to chop that narcissistic side of my personality.
It was a heavy process, but it was well worth it!
The evolution I underwent:
Manipulating people and using them as dolls from self-protection (ego)
Changed over time in…
It is open to learning from others to see my own difficulties and to be able to help others.
Everyone thinks from themselves.How more Empathischer someone is, the harder he/she can imagine that someone is abusing you. And people tend to vergoeize the behavior eg. He has not meant it or she is not aware of it. Or blame for themselves. As a result, a emphaat often takes a long time to see that it is abusive at all. Guaranteed and maximally successful for our narcissistic fellow “man”.
This question is ‘ a little weird ‘.
The vast majority of the population is empathic.The vast majority of the population is attracted to people with empathy. Only one Zeek small percentage of the population is narcissistic i.e. leads under narcissistic personality disorder.
- Why should they not feel attracted to Empathen -statistically speaking?
Is there any reason-assuming the human traits-to think that?
The opposite is rather the case.
Someone may be narcissistic, but this person is still human, with human needs and feelings.One of these needs is that the narcissistic personality (NP) has a paradoxical need for reciprocity. And of course it can only be found at Empathen.
Empathic people usually have much less developed boundaries, why they are susceptible to the narcissist.In this, empathic people believe that they would even be able to see the true self of the narcissist and to be able to mean something substantial, as it is.
One turns things better. The narcissist is not out on empathic persons.It is their poorly developed ability to draw boundaries that makes them susceptible to the narcissist, for which they even think they are the ideal partner to make the most of their own future fate.
Not necessarily to empathic people rather to people who are IDD empathetic but then to the group that is or partly dependent or the other extreme like borderline personality disorder.Between empathic people you still have enough that has a healthy bonding style. That group does not tolerate the narcissist forever. However, people who suffer from abandonment and detachments fear. That group has fearful adhesion style. And the narcissist has avoiding adhesion style. Opposites Draw each other? Someone empathically or not who has a healthy adhesion style can lay boundaries without difficulty and see clearly whether the relationship with a narcissist is to their advantage or disadvantage. If they decide that the disadvantage for them is for their inner peace for their status or that a relationship does not matches their criteria they are going to break the relationship. But fearful adhesion style works differently. Like a magnet, people with this adhesion style are attracted to the avoiding adhesion style. It is then a dynamic that arises. A dance. Same happens in co-and against dependent types. The narcissist does not necessarily hunt for the fearful adhesion style, but that is the only one that remains with a narcissist. And narcissists carry them. The love approval acceptance and tolerance of these people. And these people can tolerate eternally accepting their own limits stretching also because they have no boundaries. They are so terribly afraid to be abandoned that as it were they are going to undergo everything that is possible and even more just to maintain the illusion of this relationship. It continues to give their side while the narcissist takes and continues to take. Sometimes it can happen that the person with fearful adhesion style calls “to cry” but because of exhaustion rather and not because of really being ready to be with. Consequences? The narcissist as long as he feels comfortable with the supply goes with his mind game and talks back to the exhausted partner. But this is rather like a hunt for a gazelle in the savannah, even though the gazelle can stand up again has little to no chance of escaping the hungry lion. Or the lion shouldn’t be really hungry and decides that IE will let the prey run. But that was his decision and the Gazelle escapes because of the merci of the predator. In human relationships like this often happens the suffering partner gets cold feet that is called the rebound effect, and scares of the idea that can really be left so engg. He immediately forges for the narcissist to be forgiven and thus continues to become even more nationals to the merciless partner. Stretched again because even though exhausted it chooses to continue with it. So how many can tolerate people with fearful adhesion style, that the narcissist is just so appealing.
They are not.
Let’s put it first that most people, except Narcisten, are empathic.And most narcissists do not handle as well with other narcissists. So then the rest of the population remains.
Narcissists are generally attracted to people who ‘ go along ‘ in their own greattheidmadness, so people who ‘ believe ‘ in the narcissist.But that can be all sorts of other personality types.
Take a look at the US. I would certainly not call the people who are attracted by Trump to be ‘ empathic ‘.Au contraire.
BTW (now that we’re talking foreign anyway), the remark in many answers to this question that ‘ empathic people are weak ‘ is completely absurd.