Narcissist to his desired partner:
“I love how you manage to give me a good sense of self.”
In general, most people with NPS (narcissistic personality disorder) are eager to feel comfortable in their skin.Therefore, they are more attracted to potential partners and relationships, which they believe reflect the self-image of them with which they prefer to identify.
Narcissists could shortlist the following partners:
- Impressive people (whether through their careers, hobbies, talent, circle of friends or family) with whom they can trump themselves at their side.
- Conciliatory-admiring-bendable peoplewho do not inflict narcissistic injuries on them and make them feel good about themselves through compliments and gestures.
- Image-building peoplewho make the narcissist sit well in the eyes of others.
- Obedient peoplewho approve of the emotional world of a narcissist and embody as much as possible all the ideals they seek in a partner (admire him, overlook his mistakes, do not leave him despite his repeated narcissistic insults).
Of course, many narcissists chase a phantom that doesn’t really exist.
Sometimes they set unrealistic expectations of their partner coupled with a volatile object consistency, which often leads them to be dissatisfied with their relationship once the initial glamour has subsided and their partner’s all-too-human and faulty pages.
Conclusion: Most narcissists are always looking for external means to keep their emotional fluctuations and shaky self-esteem at bay.Your choice of partner is primarily done through this NPS perspective. The decisive factor for them is whether their sense of self is strengthened in the presence of the target candidate.
Translated to and oriented to: Quora contribution by Karen Arlucks (clinical psychotherapist) What exactly does a narcissist want in a relationship?, Aug 14, 2017 Reference in Business Insider
See also: Article These four types of people magically attract narcissists,presented by the online business newspaper Business Insider Deutschland, Lindsay Dodgson, August 8, 2018
Article The 4 types of people narcissists are attracted to, according to a psychotherapist, Business Insider, Lindsay Dodgson, August 6, 2018
The term “echoist” is due to the history of the mountain nymph Echo from Greek mythology.
The nymph fell in love with the shepherd Narcissus, who rejected her.Echo then retreated injured to the mountains, where her body gradually disappeared, until finally only her voice remained. Narcissus, on the other hand, was cursed by the goddess Nemesis for his arrogance: in a spring, he saw his reflection and fell in love with it. He remained on the shore until he died and turned into a beautiful flower. […
It becomes particularly critical when an echoist encounters a narcissist 鈥?or worse, the narcissist is the boss or partner.”It’s an ominous mix. Narcissists are primarily concerned with power and the experience of one’s own greatness, because deep down they doubt and are even insecure. Echoists suffer from this extremely 鈥?they are exploited to an extreme extent.” Exactly what echoists need 鈥?the recognition and love of others 鈥?cannot offer narcissists.”For them, echoists are only means to an end.” Article “Echoists” are the opposite of narcissists 鈥?and that is not necessarilybetter, presented by the online business newspaper Business Insider Germany, Nathalie Gaulhiac, 25 February 2019
“While it is true that selfish people are incapable of loving others, they are also unable to love themselves.”
Erich Fromm (1900-1980) German-American social psychologist, psychoanalyst, humanist philosopher, author, The Art of Love, Reading Sample p. 17, Frankfurt, 1956
“This magnificence needs constant admiration from the outside so as not to collapse.Relying on admiration is the central problem of the narcissistic personality. Admiration protects those affected from self-doubt 鈥?but at the expense of their relationship with other people.Sick narcissists are unable to think about themselves, to see their own mistakes and shortcomings.”
Otto Kernberg (*1928) Austrian-American professor of psychiatry, Weill Cornell Medical College, psychoanalyst, quoted in: Interview “Narzissts live by admiration instead of love”, presented by the Austrian daily Der Standard , Lisa Mayr, 1 October 2017