No one I am aware of, grew up in a quiet but spiritually stimulating family, surrounded by much love.
Am incidentally very good at taking away potential emotional events, both in the private and also professional sphere, otherwise I would never have been able to sustain my work in the adults intensive care department for a long time, know that the standard mortality rate on Division is 20%.
For instance, when our baby daughter turned out to be brain-dead after 2 weeks of child-intensive treatment, the same evening completely rationally treated her treatment with her own hands, by loosened her apart from the breathing tube, despite the very friendly offer Of the child-intensivist her another night to let the ventilation, brain death was after all dead, and did not want to prolong our misery unnecessarily.After that we had time to mourn. We never regretted this. See Liang-Hai Sie’s answer to What is it like to lose a child?
I have PTSD and have experienced several traumatic incidents.Overall, my childhood was a trauma because my father was a narcissist and many things happened. A few things I still know very well and still remain with me:
When I was 4 and my father struck a window.His hand sat under the blood and he wrapped a tea towel around it and went away.
When I was 6 my mother got a cardiac arrest and I and my brother saw her fall down.
When I was 10 and my father was angry with me, he promised me that if I would come to him he would do nothing.I trusted him and went to him and then he struck me.
I think these are the biggest incidents that still remain with me and I see for me.For example, I can’t see a checkered blouse that let me think of my father without panicking.
I have also been bullied for years, which may have traumatised me too, but I have stopped that so much that I do not know a lot more.
Have quite experienced a lot, have a narcissistic mother who had a favorite child, to have two children gave nothing and I was hated?The opposite of Darling say. Do not get pocket money, never a shimmer in the eyes when a laugh.. received a special treatment, but then negative. The things that still come back with flashbacks: tied up in the attic for punishment for days. Eat smell but don’t get it. Blows with a belt, angry face, run away but it can not, be laughed by anger, do not understand what that content, stick strokes, beaten with a hammer, blood on the walls/floor and my consciousness slowly lose with everything on my retina. From the stairs thrown off. Sexual assault as a child and escape. Hiding, then for every man been scared as a child. And then really, run away eg if someone kindly laughed. Peeping through the gate how everyone sat at the table while I had to sleep outside for punishment. Walk along houses, look inside how it looked cozy and warm. I still do sometimes, visit the family of the cousin who got me when I was 11. That I stayed down with the adults while the kids were playing upstairs, and then had to go upstairs but didn’t dare. Same again on my 14th.. Pretend I was asleep because I froze and scared because a tear escaped. Always wondering what happened, is a black hole after that tear.
Diagnoses, HSP, borderline, PTSD, anxiety disorder, disscocation estoornis.