Fear.I am frightened to give up my dream.
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I have been living in Barcelona for 15 months.The first 10 months I studied, then I started working.
I am now in my second job.I quit the first one because I solved IT problems in German in a call center.
That’s not what my dream looked like.
Now I sell sports shoes for one of the most famous sports brands in the world.
A week ago we opened a new store.
The store is beautiful, the promised sale is out of the way.We are far from achieving our daily sales targets.
Half of the team members started working with me two months ago for the company.
The probationary period ends in one month.Then decisions are made.
To this day we have been a big family.
To date, there has been no competition.
To date, there has been no certainty that people will be fired at the end of the month.
I am very afraid of being sacked.
Because I’m new, I’m one of the hot candidates.
Although I speak English better than everyone in the team and also German, 9 out of 10 customers speak Spanish and all team members are native Spanish speakers.
Losing a job is not bad.
It’s not my dream job anyway, but it’s a job I like.
If I lose my job and don’t quickly find something new, it would mean that I would have to go back to Germany.
I have invested every penny of my savings in my dreams.Too much.
I would have to give up my dream and leave Barcelona..
A dream That I have been living every day for the last 15 months and thought I would live my life.
The fear of giving up my dream paralyzes me.
That is exactly what fear must not do with us.
We must find a way that fear does not stand in our way, does not paralyze us, but stands behind us, inspires us and drives us forward.
As described in the intro of the song All in a Day’s Work by Dr. Dre.
I mean it’s got a lot of firepower. If you can figure out a way to wrestle that fear to push you from behind rather than standing in front of you, that’s very powerful. I always felt that I had to work harder than the next guy, just to do as well as the next guy. And to do better than the next guy, I had to just kill. And you know, to a certain extent, that’s still with me in how I work, you know, I just… go in
Maybe my way will lead me back to Germany.
I will know in a few weeks.
Until then, I will do my best to turn the fear into positive energy and not let it paralyze me.
Easier written than done.