What was a moment when you realized that something you believed in was wrong?

As a former devout Muslim, I had dealt intensively with core philosophical issues.It was the philosophy that once led me to Islam. I believed that without God no objective morality could exist – that is how I had read it with Nietzsche, only that, unlike him, I saw in it not a beneath freedom, but the epitome of human depravity. In order to satisfy my urge for justice, I felt it necessary to present a God as an objective authority, and the idea that the universe was born out of nothing and by chance contradicted all my life experiences. (That’s what it does today.) So I once discovered the Koran for me, which exerted a great fascination with its ambiguity, variety of interpretation and unique style. This was the phase in which I wanted to engage socially and try to spiritually cleanse my mind. I gave money to the homeless without being in arrogance, because Islam taught me to give with my left hand so that the right hand doesn’t notice anything about it. I did prayer with devotion to recognize in the face of God the deepest abysses of my self. It was a sense of balance that I felt. Everything seemed coherent, and although I was not particularly powerful in Arabic, I held the Koran as the Word of God, which could guide men with the fullness of his wisdom. I knew the most diverse interpretations of most verses and used philosophy to gain a better understanding of the Koran and this world. I read some works by al-Ghazali, Averro’s, Muhammad Iqbal and the Austrian convert to Islam, Muhammad Asad (formerly Leopold Weiss), from which I learned a lot.

At some point, however, I wanted to broaden my horizons.I read a book by Marc Aurel and especially Cicero’s five books on the highest good and evil (a confrontation of the Stoic Cicero with the followers of Epicourse). It quickly showed me that Christianity or Islam, with their very desirable urge for charity, had no unique selling point.

But the moment I really began to doubt it was when I got my hands on the book called “My Ordeal with the Quran”.I had already read several Islam-critical essays, but did not take them seriously, because the (mostly Western) authors either carried out propaganda for Christianity or deliberately represented Islam in a way that was designed to deprive the people of imperial exploitation. of the oil-rich Orient. But the above book came from Abbas Abdul Noor, who preached decades as an imam and was an important figure of Sufism. His book was a fundamental critique of the Koran and the story of how he once found faith and lost it again. His arguments had made me think and ultimately convinced me that a God who chooses and infests a people to carry out various genocides against the unbelievers (as we get to read in the Bible, which is not denied by the Koran), does not have any can be a just God. What have women and children, who have fallen victim to wars of extermination, become indebted? What has a person done to suffer the greatest ordeal due to muscle or bone loss? What should I interpret from this? Are they coming to paradise? What evidence exists to underpin the existence of heaven, hell, angels, or jinn, apart from The fact that Book X claims this? Where are the great wonders of God today that we could easily capture with our iPhones and cameras? I don’t see any division of the sea in the news. No stick that turns into a snake. Not a man who can make the blind see. And no divine book, for these were distorted and distorted over time. The privilege in which the Abrahamic God ends his game of hide-and-seek and reveals himself to his believers was probably reserved for only a few witnesses from the past.

All this led me to develop a more pessimistic world view like Schopenhauer and which continues to this day.Macchiavelli, who is demonized by many idealists, has fallen out of favor with many because he relentlessly interpreted the history and the world as it is: cold, merciless, filled with people putting on a chic mask and putting on a fancy mask and putting on a fancy mask would pierce behind your back.

And I can’t deny what most people will criticize: when I lost my faith, I became more unhappy.

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