Their mileage may vary depending on the girl.
On one side of the spectrum, some girls are about to get married as soon as possible.
Within a day or three, they ask you, “Do you want to marry someone in the near future?”
And or they raise less obvious sensory questions: “Are you a committed person?”, “How long has your last relationship been?”
On the other side of the spectrum, many women don’t even think of marriage, they see it as too fundamental, too dysfunctional, and agree with a committed relationship outside of marriage.
I have noticed that most women are somewhere in the grey area of these two spectra.
Since I am divorced and sit on the rather cynical side of marriage, I prefer the latter group.Separating and experiencing a variety of divorces among friends can affect your view. But who knows – maybe one day I will get married again.
Before I got married, I had a perfectly healthy relationship.We got along well, loved each other very much and were on a normal track.
Very quickly – after we started living together – the pressure to get married increased.Her family was conservative. If you live together, you should be married.
The focus of this pressure was on her, and then, of course, she began to redirect that pressure on me, and an invisible period that we hadn’t talked about suddenly became a visible object in the fog of life.
At a dinner party at her family’s house, where some men made jokes about me living with her and not marrying, the situation reached a turning point.These weren’t jokes to make someone laugh. There were shots at the bow. Ballbusting in full force.
And to be clear, I don’t want to be angry here.I myself come from a conservative family and understand this mentality, even if I may not adopt it.
Conservative families are annoyed when their daughter lives with a man outside of marriage for an extended period of time.Their generation has not behaved that way. In their minds, you don’t want your daughter, who wants to get married at some point, wasting her younger years with a noncommittal man (for whom there is a wealth).
Roughly speaking, imagine the only bathroom that has been closed for too long, where someone knocks at the door: “Go or go out!
This mentality is probably widespread in the countries from which many of you come.
But this mentality of pressure can put some of us men in precarious positions where the threat is implied: they get married or the relationship has to end.
Yes, this expiration-date approach forces some washed-up types to grow a thorn and decide what they want.
However, this often also leads to two people falling in love naturally and finding out if they are compatible – which I think should take some time, including months of cooperation.
I would prefer parents not to incorporate their own aspirations and expectations into the love lives of two people.But I am a bit more liberal on this issue.
I understand it again.The family likes to protect their own. And make sure they have the right loyalties for their daughters.
Luckily, there are many types of girls and families, there is something for everyone.
So to the guys, I would just advise you to know exactly what you want.
Try to find out in other ways if you can swim before you are in deep water. Mermaids are not for everyone.