I refer in particular to Dr. Craig Malkin and his 2015 book “Rethinking Narcissism”.Malkin is a U.S. psychotherapist who also teaches at Harvard School. In his book he evaluates numerous empirical data and case studies, and also describes himself as a cured echoist (= pathological empath), who had a mother with strongly narcissistic traits.
According to Malkin, the main reason for the development of a narcissistic personality disorder is that parents have not adequately responded to the needs of the child (i.e. neglect), as well as emotional and/or physical abuse in the Childhood.
On the other hand, he considers it nonsense that narcissism can also arise from parents praising their children “too much”.For him, an authoritative but approachable and loving upbringing, which gives the child love, compassion and responsibility as fundamental values, is the most effective method of preventing the emergence of excessive narcissism.
In his book, Malkin has developed a narcissism test (questionnaire) at the bottom of which he calls pathological echoists (after the nymph Echo rejected by Narcissus); these are people who cannot or do not want to articulate their own needs, who are overly afraid of being a burden on someone and who are very weak in will.At the top end are people whose NPS has adopted psychopathic, malignant traits. In the lower and middle areas are people who have a healthy narcissism that is helpful to them, but without significantly impairing or even abusing others.
According to Malkin, the degree of NPS can be read and determined by the triple-Echaracteristics of pathological narcissism, which he calls; these are Entitlement (self-exaggeration, entitlement), exploitation (exploitation, emotional abuse) and empathy block (blocked empathy).
These three yardsticks are crucial for both open, grandiose and covert, vulnerable narcissists.
He also considers people with a strong NPS to be able to feel emotional empathy, which he says is usually not the result, as they are predominantly self-employed, or.consider itself to be the most unjustly treated being in the world; they are therefore blocked in their empathy.
For Malkin, people with NPS are comparable to drug addicts who are willing to subordinate their entire life (and that of others) to the procurement and use of their drug.If this point has been reached and exceeded, i.e. when the narcissist subordinates everything else to his will to dominance and domination and to his fantasies of greatness, his narcissism inevitably takes on socio-pathic, malignant forms and exploitation occurs. emotional abuse, manipulation, etc.) from other individuals.
If the abuse and exploitation of the narcissist is now supplemented by a (un) consciousness that Malkin calls living in denial, so the narcissist does not recognize his disorder in any way, then at the latest now be the point Where the victim should leave the toxic relationship whenever possible, otherwise the abuse would continue to increase to a dangerous degree for the victim.
For Malkin, the main reasons for the pathological narcissist’s actions and behavior鈥?in addition to his addiction to power and admiration鈥?are a comprehensive inability to trust, a morbid fear of being dependent on others (which he naturally does otherwise his addiction), as well as an equally delusional fear of having to act from a position of weakness.According to Malkin, the narcissistic abuse usually takes place mainly because the narcissist fears that this can and would happen to him. So before giving someone the chance and the time to harm them, he prefers to shave first (and, so to speak, as a precaution).
Malkin also considers severe narcissism at the upper end of the scale to be treatable and claims to have helped many patients with NPS.
As an easy-to-execute “test” for narcissist partners, he recommends that in the event of a confrontation with the narcissist, they may show themselves from their vulnerable and conciliatory side.If the narcissist then moves in noticeably, there is hope, but he understands this invitation in that he now only pushes more vehemently and lustily into his counterpart, so one would at least know that one is dealing with a malignant, abusive narcissist.