Stop romantising jealousy.Some people justify jealousy because they find that a sign of love. Yes, love is often accompanied by jealousy and it is also “normal” to be jealous. But openly showing jealousy is annoying and testifies to lack of modern civilized etiquette.
You can compare it to food and drink.Eating and drinking is your basic need, you can also have a lot of fun with it. But food and drink also includes digestion. Digestion also includes the processes we (hopefully) perform discreetly: bowel movements, urination, flatulence and peasants.
Some people let farts and peasants in public and find it fun to do yet.Wild peeing is also something. If you are such a type, you have no less than three solutions:
- You continue to do it, no matter what your surroundings are, but do not be surprised if they will avoid your company as much as possible.
- You try to keep your natural processes under control and go to toilet in time.
- You are dealing with people who tolerate this behavior and/or are themselves so.
Exactly the same you have with jealousy.Or do you get it how it is and you risk getting rid of your partner by your jealousy, or you walk to toilet/bedroom/balcony etc. And wait for a moment until you come to rest or go next time for someone who is too. And then hope that you will not finish each other.
Investigate where it comes from.Find the source, find your solution.
From your ego and self-centrism steps, where conditional love is run by fears, envy, jealousy, hatred, envy, condemnation, etc
Recognize your fear behind it and find the origins in the past, and remove the beam from your eyes that in the present that threat is not there, and you do not possess or have in a love affair, that control to prevent recurrence of that trauma or fear is futile , and you do not have the right to go so with someone you are proposing to love.
If we want the best for someone and ourselves is letting go the way anyway
Jealousy is always aimed at controlling the other and therefore hangs together with a low self-esteem.
The value of the beloved is for the loving person independent of what the beloved does.For the jealous person the value of the other of the hope and thus not of the science depends on being loved.
Jealousy is like most emotions, values neutral.
It’s a way to make contact with ourselves, to get our positioning in the relationship clear.
In relationships you have boundaries and expectations to each other. Jealousy arises when we feel deficient in relation to a third party, organization, a priority or time spent. We feel a disharmony in our expectation and it is good to investigate that.
It means thinking why we are jealous and to what extent that is contextually reasonable. We do not talk about right or wrong, but We need to communicate with our partner and ourselves.Feelings are authentic but are often also intertwined with certain expectations and desires. That means sharing what you are bothering, feeling you heard and in reasonableness to be in line again in terms of boundaries and desires.
Feelings and thoughts: good servants, but cruel masters!
- Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen op when am I ready to go live together?
- Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on what can I do if my partner is a control freak?
- Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on how can I release expectations in relationships or don’t need to?
- Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on does jealousy in relationships always arise through your own uncertainty/emotional wounds?
- Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on my partner looks on many Instagram models pages and looks at women who twerken.
I do not feel respected, is this right? How do I transfer this to him without being jealous? Trust
Just accept it’s there. Your partner is trying to make something clear.Whether you go in there is a second.
So don’t get overpoweren; You may just be yourself and be confident, so your partner has nothing to worry about.Not the other way around anyway?
Together with your partner, have a good conversation about what makes him or she jealous. Does his or her jealousy have a valid reason or does he or she portrays matters?Or does he or she react from an old wound? Make a compromise together so that neither your partner needs to worry or you feel limited in your freedom:)