5 years ago I did my bachelor’s degree, where I met a couple of pretty cool people.2 of you were particularly close to my heart. One was my then girlfriend and a friend, with whom I loved to spend time. We often hung out with three of us. In general, we could be regarded as outsiders because we did not think much of the conventions in the village. Unfortunately it ended at some point with my girlfriend and we moved to different places in Germany.
For some reason we all found ourselves back in Stuttgart.My friend lived there and I was looking forward to doing something with him again. I had no contact with my ex. One evening, when my friend was visiting me, he asked me a strange but serious question:
“Would it be OK for you if I started something with your ex?”
Since I was not aware of the consequences at the time, I told him that it would be okay because of me.Both my friend and my ex are not bad people and both deserve the chance of happiness. At least I thought so at the time.
A few months later I asked my friend how it would work with my ex and he replied that nothing would come of it.
I was new to Stuttgart at that time and was looking for a connection.I often asked my friend if he could show me a couple of places or just come to visit me. But he always had a reason why this or that wouldn’t work. Sometimes I happened to see him at events and said hello to him. He behaved normally towards me.
This went on for half a year, up to an event.I was with a group of friends. At some point, my ex met me with my boyfriend. It was a pretty awkward situation. I took a couple of seconds to understand what that meant.
My friend had told me he had nothing to do with my ex. Why would he lie to me?I gave him the OK to do that. And he has spent six months finding reasons why he can’t meet with me.
I had to accept the situation for what it was.My friend sawed me off to do something with my ex instead. For me, that wouldn’t have been a problem at all if he didn’t lie to avoid me.
In hindsight, I wonder if my friend was the person I thought he was.We have often talked about very profound things like love, faith, the meaning of life, women, etc. I know what he was for me at the time, a friend I really appreciated. But what was I for him?
In the meantime, I have accepted my friend’s cowardice.We have no contact, nor do I want to know the reasons for his behaviour.
I believe that people are what they do.They may say things about themselves, but in the end, everything they claim is irrelevant and only what they do is important. I hope my friend does not harm his soul with such actions. But he needs to know that himself. I wish him the best.