What is it like to be psychotic as a person who has experienced psychosis?

Imagine sitting in a café.

You are immersed in thoughts and trying to understand the details of what has happened in the last few days.

Life has become strange.For some reason, you suddenly feel that something is wrong. Your friends and family have made strange remarks. You didn’t quite understand it, but they seemed worried.

Your neighbor has developed a disturbing habit.He started watching you closely. You’re not sure why, but somehow he’s overly interested in you.

You searched your home more than once for cameras and similar devices, but you couldn’t find one.Still, you feel watched at home all the time. That’s why you went to the café now. You feel uncomfortable at home because your neighbor is nearby.

The people around you seem to have difficulty understanding what you are saying.But that is ridiculous! They are the ones who speak in a way that is difficult to understand.

You have a job, but you haven’t turned up at work for a few days.That’s because you know your colleagues are talking badly about you behind your back. This must have something to do with your neighbour!

Now you’re sitting there trying to figure out how these things are related when you suddenly notice something.

The people around you in this café stare at you. They don’t look shy, no, they stare at you directly.

You feel an immediate reaction.Your heartbeat increases. You feel it hammering in the chest. It’s horrible. You fear it might fail. Your breath becomes flat and fast. Sweat beads grow on your forehead before they slip over your face.

These people are still staring!They look disgusted. They’re really just for you. Just to make you feel uncomfortable.

You get up and shoot to the toilet.

Here you are alone.What a relief. You throw a few hands of cold water in your face. You are trying to slow down your breath and heartbeat. But now there is another strange observation. The guy in the mirror is not you.

Your heart strikes one or two strokes as you retreat from fear.You run out of the toilet. As soon as the door closes behind you, the heads of these people turn and continue to stare at you.

What did your neighbor tell them?Does he pay them to drive you crazy? Or are his intentions even more bleak?

You go back to your place to drink the last big sip of coffee and go.When the cup touches your lip, you hesitate. Do you….. have they poisoned your coffee?

The cup slips out of the hand and hits the ground.You disappear from the café and go home. Suddenly it seems to be much safer at home than in this place.

On your way, you turn around again and again to see if you are being persecuted.You still can’t get rid of the constant fear. You notice a few people who seem to follow you, so you’re increasing your speed.

At home, your key shakes the lock and you enter your house and close the door. You breathe for a while.

Damn again!Your wallet. It is not there. You must have forgotten them in the café. Now they know where you live!

You’re running through your home, on the verge of losing your mind.Again, this panic! You close all doors and windows. The next few hours will be spent searching the house for cameras and the like.

Finding nothing reassures you.You have thoroughly closed every possible entrance. You’ve even built a number of traps for intruders. No one can enter your house without being warned.

The hours pass.Boredom comes up and you’re tired, but it’s been a while since you’ve been able to fall asleep without background noise, so you turn on the TV and close your eyes.

Stupid!Whisper a voice.

Suddenly you sit upright again.And again this terrible, unbearable fear.

That was the voice of your neighbor!He’s in here!

You want to get up looking for him after you get a knife out of your kitchen, but you won’t get that far.Your gaze is on the TV while the newsreader speaks directly to you. She looks at you directly and speaks specifically to you and no one else.

How far does your neighbor’s influence extend?

Will he have you murdered?Will he do it himself?

You run into the kitchen and grab the biggest knife you can find and close the door separating the kitchen from the living room.

Now you fall to the ground, shaking, crying.You cry so loudly. You don’t want to be killed. But you can’t call the cops – if the neighbor has already gathered so many people around him, the cops are certainly part of the plan.

Now you spend hours and nights in this kitchen, on the floor.

You’d love to have a drink and eat, but it could all be poisoned.Probably everything is poisoned.

You also have to use the bathroom, but you don’t dare to leave the kitchen.It’s too dangerous. So you do your business in the kitchen sink.

The days pass.You desperately need water. You can’t wait any longer. You need help.

Sobbing, you call the only person you can trust now in the remotest way.

Mom?

Mum, please help me. They are behind me. Mum, please. Water. I’m going to die. Please, Mum, come and get me out of here.

When Mum arrives, she can’t open doors or see through windows because you’ve covered her with newspapers.She calls the police and you are involuntarily admitted to a hospital.

Is it a hospital?

Your journey has only just begun.

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