NOTE:The answer has been translated from English.The original English answer comes from Genesis Noel, who describes herself as an exhibitionist narcissist.
Wow, a simple but very complex question.Thanks for the A2A. Becoming self-aware is at the top of my list. Because it forces me to question everything that I used to do without any worries and without thinking. For me, it was all a matter of course. I think some of the items on the list will surprise you and others you’ve been expecting.
therefore… the following points are a problem for me as a narcissist:
I don’t trust anyone and that’s actually pretty strong tobacco.For years I think I’m better than everyone else. I told people more or less directly in the face, which in turn makes me a giant asshole as an exhibitionist narcissist.
The problem is that I don’t know who’s jealous of me because of my superiority and who’s laughing at me behind my back.I always assume that people have hidden motives and can never relax. This is probably due to the fact that I am (now) well aware that narcissists themselves always use others for their purposes. But even if I hadn’t been aware of this, I would always have assumed that friends and family are with me only because I support them financially. It is very difficult for me to maintain friendships because I have extremely high expectations of others. I probably didn’t listen properly when the rules of living together were read out. Which brings me to the next point…
Isolation and loneliness:
My circle of friends is small, which is mainly due to the next point.I like to be alone in my private life. I rarely go to other places and return home as soon as possible. Once upon a time I was a busy butterfly who bought many things for the satisfaction of his ego. But that made me bored and tired at some point. Now I’m mostly at home. This has led to the development of a certain social phobia, which limits me in what I can do, for example, together with my family. When people leave me unexpectedly, I have to look for new people who somehow depend on me in order to be able to tie them to me like hostages.
Lack of empathy / inability to feel love
The lack of empathy is actually quite practical if you are not aware of it.But once you realize it, it’s a big curse. I never believe that my partner loves me. I just can’t feel love. This makes it impossible for me to determine whether love is out of the way or not. What a waste…
I really believe that love could heal me.But how can love exist when I can’t even feel it? Although I cannot feel love, at least faith in seeing people as victims not through my narcissistic eyes, but as the real villain and the monster that causes the problems in the romantic relationship, has helped me. responsible to identify.
I just don’t know how to love people and behave (apart from a few tips from smart books).I can be romantic and, in a certain way, do what Is Expected of Me. But the highest of the “feelings” I’ve ever had was a hint of affection. However, I never expected it to last longer.
Doing everything possible to keep your partner close to you, I thought was simply a kind of kindness and consideration.I thought I could have something of it in the longer term if I beadered a little more cautiously as a narcissist (who I am). That is why I have reduced the times in which we are together. I just pretend to be busy, except when we’re on holiday.
Our entire relationship has thus become something of a collection of many small honeymoons.But in the times in between, I don’t really feel anything but the need to keep this perfect world alive. Because I hate being single.
It pains me to admit this.But because I hear it so often, I just can’t miss it anymore. Real narcissists love games.
I grew up with an enthusiasm for literature and was something of a prodigy.At the age of three, I was already able to read and write. My intelligence and maturity as a three-year-old child have somehow brought me through life to this day. But my further development is atrophied.
Yes, I can solve problems at work, but in real life I die.The exceptions are when it’s a real game, or I have to do certain things as a means to an end, or… when I am being watched.
If I’m not able to win the game, I take my “ball” and go home.I have fluctuations in my mind, I am moody and quickly fall into rage. In personal/private relationships, I am incapable of solving problems. I just can’t let the past be a thing of the past. I live my life as if it were a chess game.
It is infinite to me.I always think massively and make big plans, but I don’t enjoy implementing them. People who don’t do what I want get a black stamp of me on their foreheads. And since I don’t have superpowers to remove the stamp, it will remain on their forehead forever. For me there are only good people and those with a black stamp.
Sure, I try to avoid it, but it happens again and again.For narcissists, boredom is like a temporary standstill that does not allow them to plot revenge. Ironically, I had my greatest successes, especially in boring and very analytical jobs. They were jobs that isolated me and kept me away from people.
I try to avoid it, but it’s extreme and it’s going to happen.Boredom for narcissists is the time to
The answer would have been much shorter if you had asked me about the benefits of being a narcissist.