What have you learned from your previous relationships?

I have learned that you cannot trust anyone especially if you have given your life in another hand.

You don’t trust anyone because they are talking about you behind your back and making them black.

Appearance is not all that long.

Try not to change each other and also not force yourself.In addition, this romantic fool has fished some musings for you from the mothballs… Especially about dating but also relevant to relationships.

ELEMENTARY WISE
FRIENDSHIPS AND DATING:

You can have a good match with someone on paper and sometimes experience a click on emotional, spiritual or intellectual level.And these are vital common areas for a relationship. However, other factors are also involved that make developing sustainable friendships or romance a challenging company. Below some contraindications. Of course there is often some overlap.

NO BALANCE IN EXPECTATIONS
AND INVESTMENT

The interaction between giving and taking is search.Not only is it important to receive or give things, you should also feel valued by the other. It is important to have the right expectations of each other and the relationship.

If you just want an extra knowledge or connection but the other wants friendship or romance, then the investment in the contact will also skein.And even if you both have the same in mind, the vision of how this should be developed can be very different.

In the beginning it is of course often a bit of paddling, but after a start-up period you have to be able to drive on the same track.Sometimes the expectations are right at first but change that. It is advisable to keep communicating that clearly to each other in order to avoid useless ambitions and frustrations.

DYSFUNCTIONAL FRIENDS AND CONNECTIONS

Many people make the mistake of investing too long in close contacts, while the other one in terms of adulthood operates on a completely different level, to put it equally lovingly.

That will not be compensated by the more mature partner, who often tolerates it for too long and sometimes even burns.Conversely, the less mature party will also often feel frustrated and criticized. There is also no balance between giving and receiving.
There is rarely real unwillingness here, but above all dysfunctionality and impotence in spite of good intentions.However, it is often too indulgent, and it remains too long to muddage.

Accept that the other does not change and that a relationship is provisionally impossible. Sometimes the adult party thinks that by reasonableness and the wiste to be ultimately everything comes well with enough commitment and logic, a fallerror with painful consequences!Then you get into a disguised pastoral relationship with the other, which will affect your motivation and capacity.

DYSFUNCTIONAL DYNAMICS

An immature personality is not always the cause of a bad connection.Two people can have reached a fairly mature life phase, but collide with each other. Indeed, every person has weaknesses, dysfunctional elements. It’s fine to work on yourself and take off the sharp edges, but in the end you keep these inherent vulnerabilities.

This can mean that in dealing with certain people, you are going to reinforce a certain weakness with the other, or vice versa and often themselves mutually!Of course, in every relationship there is something and you have to learn to understand each other, but if these frictions are systematic and serious, they will prevent a lasting connection. Some vulnerabilities are so fundamental, that sometimes wisdom is letting go of each other. Contacts are meant to support each other and not to reinforce each other’s weaknesses.

NO ROOTED IN POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP OR ROMANCE

On paper, your relationship may seem good, but in more detail the Click does not go deep.It is tempting to make more investments, because in many areas you are experiencing a match. And sometimes this is a good approach, but not always. Wantop the somehow it doesn’t just get nice, the reasons may be clear or not, but in the long run you will discover: it just doesn’t work. The presumed and experienced potential simply does not struggle deeply enough.

Don’t keep analyzing too long.The ratio and our problem-solving drive should not go hostage to the sentiment element. Sometimes the mystery remains a mystery, respect that and do not try to force things. Just take a while away from the contact and ask third parties for feedback. Sometimes chemistry between these people is simply not available. End of exercise.

RELATED LINKS

Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on how can I release expectations in relationships or don’t need to?

Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on what is important to know before you get married?

Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on how come many time and again choose the wrong partner?

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