What has your life learnt to date?
One thing I have learned to find an important enough with Quota readers to share is transactional analysis, TA. The founder of this was the Canadian Eric Berne in the last century.
TA is built on a number of fundamentals.
1. \ Tthe egostates.This describes the three elements of the human mind by being used in interactions. These are the parent, the adult and the child. The conditions are actively generated in real time by the participants. The parent and child are independently of each other unconscious in the early youth “taken up”. They are activated by so-called rubber bands if the participant recognizes a situation in the stored events. There are even finer subdivisions of these three, but let me leave.
2. \ the script.This is a description of how life will expire. The script is unconsciously captured in early childhood. We are unaware that we have a script and that our behaviour is broadly determined by it. There are natural positive and negative scripts (which we can recognize easily -especially in others -when we are in our mind. Positive and negative is therefore reflected in different gradations. It is -with help a great effort -possible to modify or change the script.
3. \ Tconnected to the script and the egostates are the drivers.There are only a few of them. These are: be perfect, which is your best, which is another and fun, be strong and hurry up. Every person has one or more mine or with pronounced drivers. Driver behavior lasts short, less than a minute and is, you already suspected it, unconsciously. Therefore, it is terribly difficult to do something about it or change it to be coherent with the script are the basic positions. Of these there are four: I’m OK/he’s OK. That is good, unproblematic. The other three are my or more problematic. I’m OK/You’re not OK and the reverse: I’m not OK/You’re OK CAN lead to depressive. The most problematic is of course I’m not OK/you’re not OK.
Every person has his favorite base position and is in the majority of the time. That too is very difficult to change.
4. \ Tplay.These are a form of time filings, which aim to gather strokes. Playing are not innocent! They often take place unconsciously for the participants. It ends “Well” for the initiator and not good for the other. There are reasonably innocent but also put malevolent games, which can even put serious consequences. Every person has his favorite game (or several) that are often played by many or all members of the family and are often passed on from generation to generation. Games often have short, speaking names, for example: What if you weren’t there and yes.
5. \ tiets What is associated with games is the so-called drama Triangle.This is where three players are recognized: The prosecutor, the victim and the savior. Here too: Every person has his favorite role. If you recognize one or more players from the drama triangle during an interaction, you know that a game is being played. Try to get out! And for what you are concerned try to avoid and play from these roles.
A lot of information about TA is available on the Internet.Also there are many good books about it. A small grasp of it.
Eric Berne: Games people play.Translated into English our The title: Man worse you do not.
Eric Berne: What Do you say after you said hello.Translated into English as: What do you say after you have said hello.
Thomas Harris: I am OKB You are OK, I’m OK/You’re OK describing how the base position looks like.Also how the egostates the parent and child come about.
Claude Steiner: Scripts people live: Transitional Analysis of Scripts people live.I do not know if it is translated into Dutch.
What I find a great book in which everything is addressed in depth is the book: transsexual Analysis of I. Stewart (Dutch).