People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to hit you where it hurts the most.
As soon as they know that something makes you particularly uncertain or inflictions a lot of damage, they are going to do just that, or say to get you small, so that they get a sense of control over the situation and about themselves.
This is because they learned at a young age to get the upper hand and get the situation under control (after all, they are captivated by their emotions and fears, which are also very intense, but hidden).
A narcissistic person is lying about how a situation actually played (and creeps into a victim role, while the other person is portrayed as an offender/boeman).
A narcissist can therefore lie about the fact that he/she has said or done something that has harmed you and also give you the blame.
This is because the narcissistic person suffers from intense feelings of shame and does not have the emotional reserves to process this.
The narcissistic person deems it necessary to regard himself as perfect and also to be regarded by others as perfect because the person does not have a realistic and healthy self-image.
There is a split personality.The person sees himself as totally good or totally bad (it’s very black and white).
The most learned person (and psychologist) I have encountered (online) is Elinor Greenberg (she has written a lot of articles and published online, and also released an own book).
She also writes on Quora.
Her knowledge is very accurate and she is truly an expert in the field of recognizing the disorder in his various variations.
In English one speaks about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), SPD (Schizoid Personality Disorder), HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder) and ASPD (Asocial Personality Disorder).
One speaks in the most extreme form also about sociopathy and psychopathy.
There is only one thing I do not agree with and that is that it is labeled as mental disorder being tagged end, but that’s not it (I believe).
Why not?Because this suggests that the narcissistic person is unaware of his/her behavior (to a certain extent this is true in the sense that we do not always realize how we happen).
But a man still chooses to abuse others.
If anyone knows of himself that he/she is emotionally unstable or unable to deal with others in a healthy way, then that may choose to set learning boundaries.
Through personal experience and also pure observation I know that narcissistic individuals are well aware of what they do and say, but actually believe that you deserve to be treated badly.
These are examples of what they can say to make you doubt yourself:
“You’re hypersensitive” (if you’ve been hurt by something that almost everyone is bothering and you’ve actually been mistreated)
“You are the only one with which I experience this problem.” (If you are addressing the person about his/her problematic behavior)
“Everyone says of you that you are ‘ so ‘ and ‘ so ‘.” (Idem-to redirect your attention to yourself and give you a bad feeling about yourself and to make you doubt yourself and to give the feeling that you are the one who exaggerates or is wrong)
“Everyone knows x about you.” The same
“You are proposing.” The same
“I haven’t done or said X.” (If you are trying to make him/her responsible for their unacceptable behaviour)
“You have X misunderstood.”
“You have heard X wrong.”
“You have seen x wrong.”
“You don’t remember your x anymore.”
“If you hadn’t said X, I wouldn’t have done X.” (To give you a feeling of guilt for their offensive behaviour)
It is difficult to be precise because the emotional manipulation differs from situation to situation and from person to person.
It’s just how you want to see it.
People with narcissistic personality disorder (NP) often do not know at all how things they say happen to them.It’s also very weird that many people think they know it. These same people also say that Pois lack empathy. Well, if anyone has a lack of empathy, how can he or she know what impact something he or she says has on you?
Where it handles is that a NP has indeed a lack of empathy, lack of incapacity, so, and so at the most unexpected moments, the most hurtful things out can stalls.He/she is not at all aware of the fact that it is a. Hurtful thing he or she says and B. It is really not the situation to say that now. It comes in him or her, and she flipping it out.
For the other party it seems, as if it is a well timed stitch underwater. A punch for the head, or a staircase underneath the belt.But the NP is not aware of any harm at the moment he/she does.
If you speak to him or her, you should also really talk to them to convince them that they have done something that really can’t, because they keep a whole different logic. If they already see it, they may even excuse themselves, but you don’t have much to do about it, because they’ll do it again next time.It is beyond the scope of this question to explain that now.
People with narcissistic personality disorder do not consciously say anything to hurt people.
They have no personal boundaries and lack of incapability and therefore often say things that are perceived as hurting by others.
Actually, that’s all the assertion “I love You”.
The narcissistic notion of love is not compatible with that of a neurotypical person.They can love, but can also be critical or even angry with the doing and letting of another person, without losing this love. Adult love is not unconditional. The narcissist, on the other hand, demands this unconditionality, with the willingness to give it himself when his claim is fulfilled. In a way touched the other in a manipulative trap. Indeed, it is always the narcissist his love in this model is conditional. Indeed, his unconditional love is under the condition of the unconditionality of the love of the other.
Only children love unconditionally; They love their parents unconditionally.However, the later narcissist has learned that his parents ‘ love is conditional on his behavior. Undesirable behavior leads to withdrawal of love. What the narcissist does not learn, however, is to love his self because the parents always interpret this as behaviour. The self is touched by an artifical self where love is received. With the result that the source of all love, the self, for the narcissist is also inaccessible. He still loves to love the narcissist, but the fulfillment of that love always comes from outside, without possessing any measure inside. Love to get is for the narcissist to get a good feeling from outside.To give love to the narcissist, however, is the goal.Narcissistic love is therefore unconditional in view of this purpose, but conditionally with a view to achieving it. The other is thus demanded of the same unconditionality as is given, but under the unspoken condition that this should make a good sense for the narcissist. For a neurotypical person, it is understandable that love can also exist if it does not feel good, because for this person the feeling of love is being edited from within. It therefore does not depend on outward conditions. Neurotypical Love is therefore always manipulated by narcissistic love. With a “I love You”, the narcissist tapers the self of the neurotypical person who always knows a certain amount of self-love that the narcissist lacks under his disorder.