If it is someone who can bend you out of your life, then you nod that person out of your life.
You don’t need such people.And such people are generally incorritive, so the onards and trying to stop will only lead to more reproaches and complaints.
Nice to remove from your life, those people.Is it your mother or another family member? Just as good to throw out your life though, or at least remove it from the outside. You are not obliged to your mother. She is obliged to be a good mother, and good mothers do not have this behavior. If she chooses to be a bad mother, then you may choose not to deal with her. Really do.
We think we are obliged to keep going and give people the opportunity to stay with everyone.We are not. Everyone should be obliged to be good people. And if people are not, then we owe them nothing.
I assume it is your father or mother. Or your partner.Or your child. Otherwise your boss. In any case, someone you are in a codependente relationship and do not want to say goodbye to/can take.
One thing is clear: this person will always go on.Maybe it’s going to be temporarily “better” if you make it clear that you are able to break the relationship. But again it’s temporary.
So you can’t change this person, but you continue to hope for reward and confirmation.So it’s up to you that you get it and how you get it. So I would say go reward yourself. Buy a nice gadget or accessory. Not because the old piece is, but just because you are gunt it yourself. Take a day off and go and do nothing, just read a nice book. In short: Improve the quality of your own life. Reward yourself. Not on behalf of the person in question, but on behalf of yourself. Because this person can not force you, but you can do that yourself.
The best you give them constantly, you admire their genius and clear insight, excuse you for your shortcomings, admire their real self-image, thank them for their help and support.Etc.
Probably the most projection and the other needs it to belittle you to feel even somewhat good.
In any case, you shouldn’t enter the fight.Is Gruesome. If there can be laughed, just fine, otherwise keep as much distance as possible.
Is it your father or your mother?
Laura, Anna and Yeral have given all three answers which I thought: good advice.Laura clear and truely, really as she can, Anna realistically and with insight, Yeral with a practical and ironic act alternative.
Why I still do a little bit in the bag is that I can afford to put some personal thoughts next to it.I’m not so good at remembering. I can only remember the core of a message. That helps me to recognise and appoint a pattern and to realize the related insights and ways of dealing and accepting.
And the story reading I thought:
This is about the
Need for confirmation.Colliding needs, because the one fulfills that need by making the other small in order to be able to feel greater.
And because that has assumed a rather negative and cumbersome form, you would want to change that behavior.But a good friend of whom I have learned a lot, especially about my own less beautiful edges, has once told me that you can stimulate another only from and with love to change. Do not change, because that can only be someone himself. And changing yourself is one of the hardest things out there.
And that same girlfriend, knowing that stimulating only if you have the position, relationship, will, energy and time for it, also has a nice picture if you can’t or want to muster.About people who are suffering you, she says: Those people have been sent to keep us a mirror so that we can learn from it. And often that works.
Well, I have quite a few autistic treks, so that with that love and patience, that will not get you soon.I just don’t have it for it in most cases. So for me Laura’s approach works liberating. And Anna’s analysis that you can’t break such a pattern, but that you let it slide off you and reward yourself with something nice or tasty, I can see it. And then Yeral also has an alternative that appeals to me: answer all that negatility with the opposite. Give that person what it obviously needs so desperately. It doesn’t cost you a penny and with a bit of luck it gives the dysfunctional relationship a different twist.
Thanks to people like Laura, Anna and Yeral, Quora is such a nice platform.
There is something you could try, though success is uncertain and you have to stand very firmly in your shoes (that will not succeed when it comes to someone with whom you have emotional relationship bjv father or mother).Logical reasoning and arguments, facts, so never succeed-but you can try with theatre absurd. The aim is to strike a counterparty out of his/her role and steer in absurd unknown waters. You cry something that is absurd and sends further. For example, someone is extremely aggressive and dismissive of your work, then you call: What are you afraid of, I feel absolutely nothing for Emma (who Emma is a colleague so) go ahead I say nothing. That Emma has nothing to do with you or the opponent, he does not fall on her and she is not on you, the best is that she is married. Your remark is utterly absurd, but you have to be very convincing in your indignation. The opponent gets a completely unexpected reaction to the role he plays and is uncontrollable for a moment. Then you have to skip ahead. For example, you call: those cooks in the fridge were for you, incidentally. There were no cookies in the fridge to be clear. Opponent is even more confused, he plays no role anymore, then you can strike finally with lastest nonsense and run away. If your opponent cannot play his role as a bully, there is a chance that he will continue to avoid you. So this is an example of nothing, you have to be very creative in such a situation. If it succeeds, the bully will avoid and ignore you, then your problem is solved. If the situation is much worse, you may have to deal with a “little tyrant” as Carlos Castaneda describes, man who makes our lives impossible… “Gadgets tira脙 卤 os”, i.e. small tyrants that you must overcome to get your freedom. Even though your life is impossible by such a person, he is just a small tyrant that can be spilled by list and deception. To you the choice of whether that is worth the effort. I have doubts, but if you have interest read books from Castaneda.