What do women really want?

Sigmund Freud’s incomprehension for women

  • “The big questionthat I can’t answer, despite my thirty years of study of the female soul, is, “What does a woman really want?””
    Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) Austrian neurologist, deep psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis, religious critic, author, quoted in: Ernest Alfred Jones (1879-1958) British neurologist, psychoanalyst, official biographer by Sigmund Freud, Author, The Life and Work of Sigmund Freud, Volume 1, Huber, Bern, 1960

Insight of a masochistic feminist Maria Marcus (1982)

  • Freud [… wrote: ‘What does the woman want?’
    He had no idea.

And how could he have known, he was surrounded by women so oppressed that they themselves didn’t know what they wanted. Women who could only confirm themselves negatively – as a second-class edition of the man, as an intermediate thing between a man and a child, as a hollow penis or as their analysts otherwise called it. Or because they were always following the strongest boy – just to get ducked.
[… Today we are surrounded by Women , who know what they want. The women’s movement is the visible proof that our nature is not predetermined, but that we can choose.We are not doomed to be passive and masochistic, but we can be just as active, active, full of strength, initiative, solidarity and political will. [… Who dares to say that the new women are not also part of nature?”
Maria Marcus (*1926) Danish filmmaker, feminist, former sexual masochist, author, The Terrible Truth.Women and Masochism, p. 306, Rowohlt TB-Verlag, Rheinbeck, first edition 1982, June 1991


The answer to “What do women really want?” is: their sovereignty!

  • “Men who want to go in search of the feminine and to advance into feminine values must also face the question that King Arthur was confronted with as one of the Grail seekers.

This question, which Sigmund Freud also asked himself a century ago and before which he capitulated, is: “What does the woman want?” King Arthur received the answer from his chivalrous friend Gawan: “Sovereignty, Sire.” A truly profound answer when we take a closer look at the meaning of this word.Politically, he means a non-derived, all-encompassing, outwardly and internally unrestricted sovereignty. The symbol of this political sovereignty is the Virgin. It was embodied in Celtic mythology “in the feminine form of eriu, the sovereignty of Ireland,” and recalls that in ancient times these countries were created by goddesses or goddesses.priestesses.
This is exactly what the king seems to have understood in the fairy tale when, at the end of his seven-year quest, he renounces patriarchal fatherpower and thus commits himself not only to conditions in the Jesuan “kingdom of God”, but also to those conditions to which we matriarchal cultures.”
Christa Mulack (*1943) German educational scientist, Protestant theologian, author of patriarchal-critical works, The Girl Without Hands.How a Daughter Frees Herself From The Violence of her Father, p. 110-111, Kreuz Verlag, 1995


Anyone who is preparing to find the question asked via Google could – like me – “frighten” that the first 4 pages on this question alone are exclusively “shooting.Here’s a talk show example:

The question is converted to a relationship theme “What do women want from men … in love … sexual?”, as if it is indecent or unthinkable to answer the question alone or to leave it open – in relation to women in and of themselves, the woman in being and life.
The woman himself wants the same sovereignty (self-determination, self-womanhood) as it is ostensibly granted to the man.


Through the book of the American homeopathic physician and young psychoanalyst Dr.Medical. Edward C. Whitmont (1912-1998) The Return of the Goddess.From the power of the feminine in individual and society, Kösel Verlag, 1982, 1989 I learned about the legend of King Arthur, Knight Gawan and the UglyMaid.Whitmont used this story to provide the answer to the question that “psychoconnoisseur” Freud did not know.

In the forest of Inglewood, King Arthur and his companions went hunting.

Without having his knights nearby, he noticed that his body was suddenly paralyzed. A grim man in pitch-black armor approached him and said, “Artus, I’m Gromer Somer Joure.You are in my power, because you wrongly gave Knight Gawan my country. For your transgression’s sake you will die unless you find the answer to an unresolvedquestion.”
Arthur asked, “What question should I answer you?”
Gromer told him, “If you want to save your life and your kingdom, I grant you a deadline of one year and one day to answer the question ,What does the woman really want?’ to procure.Then we meet here anew.
The giant Gromer disappeared, and the king was able to move normally again.

Returning to Camelot’s yard, Arthur felt discouraged.Only his nephew Knight Gawan asked King Arthur what had happened in the forest. The knight suggested, “Let’s leave.We will ask every woman we find in Camelot and elsewhere, “Woman, what do you really want?”

On horseback, they recorded all the answers they received in a huge book.As the year drew to a close, they doubted whether any of the collected proposals were true.

Shortly before meeting Gromer Somer Joure, King Arthur roamed the woods of Inglewood again.A vile ugly woman stepped in his way and told him: “I am Dame Ragnell and I know the right answer to the riddle you are supposed to solve.This answer could save your life.”
The king replied, “Please reveal the solution to me.”
“Under one condition,”
she said.
Arthur asked, “What are you asking for?”
The ugly Ragnell replied bluntly: “I want to marryone of your knights, Sir Gawan.”

The horrified King Arthur promised her nothing, but assured her: “I will tell you Knight Gawan’s decision regarding your request.”

Returning to the court, he explained the state of affairs to his nephew.Immediately, Gawan replied, “Dear Arthur, I will marry her if it can save Camelot and your life, even if she turns out to be the devil.”

Relieved, King Arthur rode back into the woods to tell the ugly maiden of his knight’s decision: “Sir Gawan has agreed to marry you, provided that your answer is the right one.However, if one of the answers we have already collected solves the puzzle, our trade will lapse.”

Lady Ragnell was pleased with King Arthur’s offer and told him the answer he and his faithful companions had been looking for for a whole year.

On the appointed date, one year and a daylater, King Arthur reappeared in the forest of Inglewood.His opponent, Gromer Somer Joure, suddenly appeared before the king and demanded an answer to the question that had caused him to sleep for years. Arthur presented him with the book with the collected answers of the ladies of Camelot. Gromer flew over the text, laughed briefly and rejected all the suggestions. He roared, “Artus, prepare to die.”

Arthur quickly replied, “Wait, I have an answer.”
Gromer said, “Speak to me.”

So Arthur sent him the answer of the strange ugly Maid.
Gromer groaned wistfully: “No one but my sister could have told you that!May she simmer in hell if this betrayal! You are now free, King Arthur. I’m retiring.’

Arthur then returned to Ragnell, who was already waiting for him.He took her to Sir Gawan at Camelot’s court. Gawan looked at her stunned, overwhelmed by her ugliness. Lady Ragnell asked him, “Since my answer could liberate your king and your country, are you ready to keep your promise to marry me?”

Devoted to fate and brave, Knight Gawan replied: “Yes, Mylady, I will marry you tomorrow.”

When the ladies of the court learned that the handsome and coveted knight was to be married to such a terrible, strange woman, they began to cry.The other knights of the Round Table were invariably glad that they had not been called to the marriage sacrifice in place of Gawan, and regretted their brother.
Lady Ragnell had asked for a public wedding party, which was also held for her.She wore the most precious robes. However, all the nobles present there found their manners repulsive.

At midnight, the couple went to their bedroom.Gawan, who only reluctantly wanted to touch his new wife, stared at the fireplace until her wish to him arrived, “Please kiss me.”

The groom courageously agreed to immediately discover that he was holding a radiant woman in his arms.Speechless, he scanned her face. Finally, he asked her, “How could this miracle happen?”

Dame Ragnell, who was no longer the ugly maiden, revealed to him: “As long as I was under the curse, I waited patiently until I found a gentle man like you to marry me.The miracle of my newfound love is temporary, because the ban on me has not been completely defused.”

“What can I do to help you?”Gawan hurried to ask.
She replied: “You can’t do anything else.Everything that was needed, you have already fulfilled, Gawan.”
Gawan quipped, “And if so, I am keen to see you freed from the curse.”
She tested him with the words: “Well, I’m going to put you in front of the choice: do you prefer that I’m beautiful at night and ugly by day, or do you want me as the ugly at night and the beautiful by day?Decide.”

Gawan scratched his head.As he pondered the course of events, it dawned on him what his answer was appropriate.
‘I don’t have that decision, it’s up to you.’

Moved to tears, Lady Ragnell exclaimed:
“Mylord, you are wise, noble and true.You have given me this,
what every woman really wants: her sovereignty, the freedom to control herself . Now the curse is completely lifted, and I do not seem more than the vile old Vettel.
I decide to live as the beautiful Maid in my nature from now on.”

Source (Spiritualwiki): The Legend of King Arthur, Knight Gawan and the Ugly Maid

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