What do I do if my partner does not fulfil his marital duties? And I’m not talking about putting the garbage outside.

Separate.That seems to me to be the case if you see it as “duties”-it sounds very repressive and pre-war. Forgive me for briefly rolling the eyes when I saw this question.
Good mercy.What a joblessness.

What are you talking about?Putting the flowers outside?
Vague.Do you also communicate with your partner? I would also not be warm to anyone who passively aggressively converts expectations into obligations.
I would ask myself if I would be good enough for you at all.I’m not even worth communicating with open and honest.

I think there are a lot of things wrong in this relationship.There is also a lot of lack of initiative, I mean when it comes to sex, because that is not said, but when it comes to it. That comes from two sides. You can’t point and don’t even look down at yourself, because people don’t get him up! 😉

Marital duties?Have you committed the obligation to sex contractually?

Your description will extinguish every lust.Thank goodness you have someone who puts out the garbage bin.

My idea: Communicate.Ask your partner why he/she does not fulfil the marital duties. Please indicate that you wish to comply with this obligation. Open a bottle of wine, close the curtains, end this stale language and go together to see what is needed to fulfill this obligation in a fun way. Be concrete: Please indicate what you would like, ask what your partner would be comfortable with. Replace the word “duty” by pleasure, enjoyment, pleasure-negotiators about the right words.

Ask your partner to find you sexually appealing.Listen. See if there are opportunities to make you attractive to your partner.

Tell if and how you find your partner sexually appealing.Indicate what you find exciting, or exciting. Ask your partner what he/she thinks is exciting.

Either: Communicate.Make your needs clear. Dispose of the contract in the trash bin, let it drain through your partner and talk. Talk, negotiators, talk, give your need, negotiators…. and talk.

And if at the end your partner really does not want to go over to the old Klaverjas-advice: care, at a bad partner, for a good hand.

As a whole, your description is so cryptic that I put it under the heading ‘ Trash outside ‘.Good idea: The garbage out, love it in there.

It seems rather pointless to put this question to an audience of relatively anonymous internal etters.

You can only give the answer to that question yourself.Quite apart from using the word “marital duties“, where I get a bit of red stains from in my neck… How should I see this if, for example, my partner is no longer able to meet her “marital duties for a medical reason?Do I have to put her outside the same garbage bin?

Come on say.You love someone, or not. That is not conditional.

I do not believe that when I spoke out my promises of loyalty, I also mentioned the garbage…

‘ Fulfilling marital duties ‘, that can mean so much.A friend of my ex found her husband a ‘ crappy guy ‘ because he-when he lost his job-appealed to her not changing buying habits. I have also heard it from others as a kind of ‘ obligation to deliver orgasms ‘.

My God.

When I hear heavy terms like marital duties, I think there is one thing skewed in a relationship anyway.It is seen as an obligation. ‘ You must ‘, instead of ‘ we want ‘.

I have no idea what is wrong in your relationship, but I think you will do the most fun by ending it in harmony.

What do you know about these conjugal duties.

The questioner/couple tries to just ask something in a neat way.

What would you have preferred?My partner doesn’t fuck me in my ass anymore?

I have done something of 12 years of effort to change that.

Nothing helped

That urge and the desire must come true.

Then you go to bed with someone else.Problem solved for everyone.

First a response from theological-contextual perspective

The term “marital obligations” is somewhat corny, referring to a biblical expression, which, incidentally, is only used once in my knowledge, namely in the First Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians.7:3-5

“The man kome against the woman are (conjugal) obligations after and likewise the woman against her husband.The woman does not possess her own body, but her husband; And also the man does not have his own body, but his wife. Remember that each other is not, unless with each other good (and) for a certain time, to dedicate yourselves to the prayer, but then to come together again, lest Satan atone to you because of your lack of self-control. “

Contextually understanding is also a must.Paul is agitating here against an overly religious and spiritual way of being Christian, where the enjoyment and experience of sex was considered inferior, at the expense of the normal love life. Practicing abstinence from food, pleasure and sex was common in those oriental cultures, but was sometimes exaggerated. It was understandable that there were frustrations and crooked skates that damaged love. This is what is different from interpreting this text as a divine legitimation for sex as an obligation.


Sex is a primary human need though.As Paul understood, that is not something you have to ignore. In most relationships, sex, whether or not explicitly communicated, is an expectation that is usually obvious, an issue that most couples can struggle with.

Communication is then the primary key.Certainly in the beginning of the relationship it is important to communicate expectations with integrity, because the motivation and mutual ‘ goodwill ‘ is strongly present. Use the pink-cloud period to make basic investments in the relationship!

Sex is more than the bedwork, it also means romance and care to each other outside the bedroom.A good conversation, a hug, helping each other and doing things together. And in the bedroom this means to communicate and adapt expectations to each other. Be yourself and give yourself. Challenge each other, but do not overask.

In addition to relational-sexual gratification, there is also the question of physical-sexual gratification.These two sometimes fall together. And there’s nothing to satisfy your partner if you don’t feel like it or get it. In addition, there is nothing wrong with someone individually satisfying themselves, with or with tools such as sex toys, provided that it does not come at the expense of regular love life.


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