I think I differed from other parents in my area or family because I never saw my children as ‘ my child ‘.I have raised them as individuals with respect for their opinions. Of course with some limit but I think it is always within for a child manageable and spacious boundaries.
Bedtime For example, I told my children that they had to go to bed at a certain time, because I wanted the living room for myself from that time, they had had him all day, and now it was my turn.They didn’t have to go to sleep, they were allowed to decide, provided the light was out…… Name a time that matched that age.
My motto and slogan was: If you behave like a toddler, you will be treated like a toddler.(when they were toddler)
So they didn’t go well with the guidelines before bedtime, then I determined again.Then it was just: you have to go to bed now. POINT
But actually I never have to apply that.
Another thing is that children as soon as they go to school that get ‘ dirty words ‘ period.Well, that mag, you say it but only o Wednesday afternoon when we eat with our fingers fatty pancakes. Then it is already an oily, deviant meal, and an may you say fat a lot of dirty words. Without that we find anything. Beyond that, you adapt to the socially responsible image: no coarse fence language.
Both of my children have a very high IQ, but differ as day and night from each other: an exudate creative dream and an introvert figure-moderate genius.Quite tricky to grasp both of them in a framework that suits them.
The children are educated multilingual: English and a Spanish course in addition to the Dutch language.
They have become both strong personalities, who know war they stand for, pondering choices one their life and two fantastic adults with each their own identity.
Oh yes, and they never had to say ‘ Mom ‘, they called me by my first name, that title I found but nothing.Respect is not in a word, but in the attitudes and behavior of the children. And you deserve it by treating them as individuals and not as an extension of yourself.
I have always told you to my parents.That at that time quite common. I found that it created more distance and therefore we have done it differently with our children. I never regretted that.
I never had a “boyfriend”, but partner had to formally ask my hand to my father.
I opted for this because I didn’t have time for “guys” and relationships end is not my thing.I wanted to be a “young man” who want to marry and form a family. Going apart is no options so I needed someone who was very traditionally set.
If the relationship goes wrong then we fix it.If it is not at all, we are looking for an alternative. If you can’t handle that, don’t start. Wasting time is not for me, I know exactly what I want and what I need.
My partner is also so (little worse even) so we are a good duo.