On their own, narcissists primarily harmthemselves.With their lack of empathy, lack of object consistency and lack of self-reflection, they are hardly able to lead a harmonious and balanced life.
In principle, they are people who have (unfortunately) got stuck in their childhood due to massive trauma.The lack of self-reflection means they don’t realize they’re actually in jail. Therefore, they project their suffering on to others. Again, they don’t even realize that it’s a projection.
Back to your question…
If one looks away from toxic narcissists, they only do the damage that one allows oneself.As it says so beautifully: “What does it bother the oak when a wild sow scrubs against it…?”. The statement is certainly striking, but hopefully helps with the clarification.
Narcissists hide their true i behind a mask.But that doesn’t necessarily make them dangerous for others. because… everyone makes mistakes in their “disguise”. Someone hiding behind a mask is not authentic (by definition, it cannot be). Usually people intuitively notice when something is wrong with their counterpart.
Some people get an uncomfortable feeling when they contact narcissists.Others feel so good (due to the excellent charm of the narcissist) that it can no longer be true. And indeed, the charm is not real, but only played out. As the saying goes: “What is too good to be true… is actually not true”.
But even if you don’t have intuitive access to other people, or even if you don’t have intuitive access to them.this is only weakly pronounced, one only needs to listen to a narcissist and observe him. Narcissists often give contradictory things of their worth. Sometimes you need a few encounters before the first doubts arise. Instead of doubting yourself, you then better take notes and pay even more attention for the future.
Yes, and then there is the observation.How does man deal with other people? Does he meet them on an equal footing? Is he gracious? Or does he always try to have the upper hand and dishonor others? Can he put himself in others and comfort, where necessary, his fellow human beings in an authentic way?
Just ask yourself how a person’s behaviour affects you as a whole and judge it as objectively as possible.
Why a narcissist can’t do you any harm…
As soon as you know you’re dealing with a narcissist, you just keep him at a distance.He can’t do anything with it. Imagine he is a small, insecure and cocky child who beats his (actually beloved pet) for lack of love.
The child is still thought to be able to help.But narcissism is a personality disorder. The adult, unlike a child, has already passed his development and is almost impossible to change. Narcissism can only be cured if the person concerned himself realizes that his personality disorder causes him or her own massive problems.
However, the narcissist can only recognize his problems if he is massively ill, because e.g.no one wants to have anything to do with him anymore.
In short… even if you are affected by “helper syndrome”, you will do the narcissist a huge favor if you keep it at a distance.
therefore… inform yourself through specialist books about what makes a narcissist.This will help you better recognize and keep those (actually pitiful) people at a distance. With this he can no longer harm you, but he is looking for other people for his projections.
Last but not least:
If you are dealing with a toxic/malicious narcissist, contact the police if necessary and use your close circle of friends and family to cope.