The Schwarzenegger method.You’ve never heard of it because I invented it.
The Schwarzenegger parenting method is a way to get young children to hurry up without anyone being stressed.Here’s how to do it:
- Whenever you want to leave the house while your kids put on their jackets and shoes, say the following with a strong Arnie accent: “You need your clothes, your shoes (or boots) and your motorcycle.” If you do this often enough, your children will get used to it.
(Ref: The Terminator)
If you want them to get faster, say, “Come on! On to the helicopter!”. You can say that quite forcefully, the kids will think it’s a joke and hurry up. (Ref: Predator)
Do it now!” Alternatively: “Come on! I am here! What are you waiting for?” (Ref: Predator)
Now your children think it’s a game to hurry up, played by Dad with a strong Austrian accent.When they’re older and have already been spoiled a little by other kids, you can use phrases like, “Get your butt on Mars!” (Ref: Recall).
Note: There are certain side effects when using this method.Your partner will probably turn a blind eye when you do it, slightly embarrassed by your silly upbringing. Your 4-year-old children might also randomly shout “Get to the helicopter!” in public, which can be a little hard to explain. If they’re older and actually see these old Arnie FIlme, they might hate you for it. But I don’t know for sure, because we’re not there yet.
On request, Schwarzenegger can form the basis for an entire educational philosophy.Here are some child-friendly examples:
- Discipline your child in a friendlyway: “Hello, sweeter.
One of us is in trouble.” (Ref: The Running Man)
See how they are driven before you. Listen to their wives’ complaints.” Conan the Barbarian