What compliment have you heard so often that it bothers you when someone gives it to you?

When I was on the civic integration course, I had Juf Maaike who gave me Dutch lessons.When we did speak test, she said, “Oh Wow, you speak good English”. It was super nice to hear.

Two years later we had reunion and we obviously talked about who did what etc.I had just finished my education (in Dutch) and I had a job in the customer service, also in Dutch. When I finished my story and wanted to listen to another ex-classmate, Juf Maaike said: “Oh Wow, you speak good Dutch!” I thought oh fine to hear, but that was actually the intention, I’m now a little further with my life.

A few years later I met Juf Maaike to train, I had to make national exam communication in Utrecht and Juf Maaike asked what I was doing in Utrecht, and I told me that I was working with the career switch and what study I was following etc.Then said Juf Maaike: Wow, you speak good Dutch! I had to laugh a bit.

A while ago I met her again, I was with my little son together and then said Juf Maaike: “Your face is known to me, I know you from somewhere?” I said yes you were my teacher Dutch 20 years ago.She said Oh but you just speak Dutch to your son. I said yes sometimes, which suits us best. They repeated again “yes but your Dutch is fine”… I said thanks… But secretly I thought of it is actually just logical, you learn the language, you speak the language, ready.

I must confess that I am a mild compliments-fetishist.Giving compliments is fine but receiving compliments is a delight that equate to me the greatest pleasures of life (a hot summer day with a loved one, or a shot of heroin). A compliment that was disturbing is also difficult to find in the history of my person.

A compliment that assists me as disturbing and slightly backward is the next.

Towards the end of my adolescent time-when my face was almost finished, but it looked like a clay-sculpture of a child-I regularly got the compliment: “I find it so cool that it doesn’t matter to you what you look like”.In the beginning I found this to sound still nice; After all, I was called cool. But for a self-conscious teenager, with the only wish a Brad Pitt-esque appearance, this became annoying quite quickly.

“You have beautiful Eyes”

Well I must be honest, it bothers me especially when it’s the first thing people say.I get a feeling of oh so the rest doesn’t look like that.

We live in a compliments culture.Even small children learn to compliment each other at school. What it really is about and what everyone in his heart desires is to be seen by the other.What is the difference between the compliment “you look beautiful” and seeing the other “have you made you so beautiful for me?I think this is very beautiful. “

Not though, I always think it is of personality and good education to testify when someone gives away a compliment.

Compliments are always nice to get.

That someone gives a compliment, that you have heard more often, is not attributable to the one who gives the compliment.

So I don’t bother me.

“You’re so Smart”…. While I really don’t like myself.

Actually no compliment and no annoyance.We become or were often worn out of Indian descent from Suriname. Often used in Dutch. (A main language in Suriname).

Uberhaupt disturb me compliments.

What do you say back except thanks?And what kind of face do you pull?

I do not believe in ego.And someone who caresses me ego. Yes. I find a little uncomfortable.

But giving yourself compliments to another is fun!

Mmmmmmmmm?

Paradox?

Don’t love getting it.Do love giving.

People continue to give.Dusja What do you do?

Me shrug.Compliments are not that interesting. It’s about whether you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished/done.

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