What can I do to calm down when I’m upset?

There are some things that help me very well to calm down:

  • Listen to good music.

I turn some of my favorite albums and think back to the fun time I had with my friends while this music turned into our room. That was the time we first discovered these songs and tried to analyse them enthusiastically.

  • Books.
  • There is such a set of “Feel Good” books and “Guilty pleasures” that always put me in a good mood by reading some of the chapters in it. Catch-22 And Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy are some examples that work for me.

  • Create or doodles a drawing.
  • Nothing can bring my mind to rest as well as drawing. It’s as if my analytical brain is temporarily “out”. It doesn’t really matter what you draw, a portrait or just some random lines on paper. It always works for me.

  • Walking or jogging.
  • Go outside, sniff the fresh air, get out of the area that can make you upset, look around and observe what you see: houses, leaves of trees, the glass box, a lady on a bicycle, a plastik bag in a shrub. Pay attention to details and take in the outside world.

  • Cooking.
  • When I’m cooking I can only have my attention on the cooking process and not much else. All that multitasking is also putting my brain out for a while.

  • Watch funny YouTube videos.
  • I am fond of old episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway. It always brings me in a cheerful mood and weird but where I can just keep looking at it, although I’ve seen most of it before.

  • Wash off.
  • We do not have a dishwasher at home and a washing up has strangely enough also a calming effect if you are busy.

    Things I don’t do but I hear from others that it helps:

    • Crafting, knitting, crocheting etc.
    • Meditation, mindfulness,..
    • Sleep.
    • Study, for example, learning a new language.

    What helps me is the realization that this can not persist forever.Adrenaline gets up in ~ 20 minutes, so it can take up to a maximum of as long. I just have to wait. (If this is due to a difficult conversation, it can be rebounded every time, but people usually give you the space to relax).

    In addition, I concentrate on my breathing.Deep, long fullest prevent hyperventilation and are relaxing.

    And last but not least.You have to give yourself permission to cry. (Sounds counterproductive, but from inner fats you won’t get any better.)

    Staying calm in a crisis situation is not a character trait.It is a skill that you can learn in minutes.

    Some people always seem to remain calm in situations where others lose their heads.And in the past it was always thought that some people had a special character who had to miss the rest of us.

    But neuroscientists have recently revealed that staying calm under pressure is not an innate trait, but a skill that anyone can learn.

    This is how you do that:

    1.Understand the biochemistry

    The opposite of staying calm is the “fight-or-flight” condition, a physiological reaction that occurs in response to an alleged attack or threat.

    That reaction begins when the amygdalae, particles in your brain, interpret a situation as a threat .This causes your brain to secrete hormones that tell your nervous system to prepare your body to take drastic measures. Your breath becomes shorter, your body sends extra blood to your muscles, your peripheral vision disappears, and so on.

    This is useful when you need to run away from a saber tooth tiger quickly, but not when you have a conflict with a colleague or under pressure to finish a project.
    In this condition, chances are very high that you either stay frozen in fear or that you, driven to relieve pressure, say something stupid or does.

    2.Appoint the Emotions

    To relax and stay calm, you need to interrupt this pattern.

    As mentioned, the fight-or-flight reaction begins in the amygdalae, which is where your brain process memories, interpret emotions, and take decisions ‘ from the belly ‘.

    We now know that you can reduce the “fight or flight signals” of your and if you acknowledge the emotions (h) you are experiencing at that time.Jon Pratlett, a pioneer in the use of neuroscience in leadership training, says: “reflecting on your feelings and labeling it can help soothe the and, allowing you to step out of the fight/flight mode and energy Freeing up so you can think brighter about the problem instead of worrying“.

    So give literally a name to your emotions, such as fear, reluctance, concern,…

    3.Slow down your breathing

    Now that you have interrupted the ‘ brain part ‘ of the ‘ panic pattern ‘, you interrupt the ‘ body ‘ area by consciously breathing slowly and deeply.Count from 1 to 10 when you breathe, and then count from 1 to 10 when you breathe out.

    These deep breaths bring more oxygen into your lungs and hence into your bloodstream, which is exactly the opposite effect of the fight-or-flight reaction.You tell your body and brain that it is no longer necessary to increase the intensity of your fight-or-flight response.

    According to Esther Sternberg, a physician and researcher at the National Institute of Mental Health, a slow, deep breathing denies the fight-or-flight reaction by “stimulating the opposite parasympathetic reaction -which brings us to rest “.

    4.Give a different name to your emotions

    At this point, you have interrupted the pattern on two levels.In This step, you eliminate the emotional impulse that created the fight-or-flight response.

    In Step 2 You have appointed your emotions; Now you are going to give them a rather positive than negative denomination.Such as:

    Fear = > anticipation
    Frustration = > Desire
    Worries = > concern
    Reluctance = > Caution
    Alarmed = > Curious

    When you re-tag your emotions, use controllable parts of your brain to convince your and that this is not a fight-or-flight situation , but a “stay conscious and vigilant” situation, or even a “sit back and enjoy” Situation.

    As you keep breathing slowly and deeply and keep the reappointed emotions in your mind, you notice the speed at which your heart beats.You will notice that it gradually returns to a normal pace. You have now found rest again.

    Although this technique requires a little practice, it is definitely worth it, because this skill will make you much more effective and at the same time increase your ability to enjoy the natural ebb and flow of pressure in your life.

    The most important thing in life is breathing.

    If you get upset, it’s because you’re going to breathe high.You use your shoulders to lift your ribs when breathing. This ensures that the emotion between your breathing and nervous system accelerates and you only get farther upset. Your head gets hot through the blood and your neurology gets overburdened by the busy signals that come nowhere.

    Proposal: Imagine your worries as a candle with a flame and gently blow out the flame.Do that with your belly. Then you immediately notice that your emotions ‘ pockets ‘.

    You can also imagine that you are summariating all these feelings and blowing out as a smoke cloud.

    What it’s all about is that you generate a moment of control for yourself.Getting upset is a ‘ coping mechanism ‘ with the feeling of losing control, which then causes you to lose control indeed.

    The moment you realise that by becoming silent from within and becoming aware of yourself, having control over the most important place on Earth: You are, it is most important for your own value and consciousness.

    It is a great victory, because sometimes you are upset because people around you are forcing you to do so.Sometimes you are upset by uncertainty. But both are a form of lack of control.

    Breathe and be yourself.None of you can diminish that. Use your breathing to concentrate yourself on who you are, or want to be.

    The answers so far give lots of useful tips.What I want to add is this. Upset you usually touch in human contact. Take a time out. Disconnect from that contact. As a result, you can get calm, see things in perspective, and prevent you from saying what’s going to damage. If it is necessary, for example in a relationship, you can choose to come back to it at a later time and discuss what happened to you, which was exactly the delicate point (or the delicate points) and how this can be avoided in the future.

    Also you can keep it for yourself and try to see it happened from a completely different side or in a different perspective.That can be tricky, but is very useful. Help from a trusted third party can help.

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