I see clearly that they are able to keep jobs, run households, go to school and do what is important to them.
They understand who and when they have to lie in order to rage or reject, and how they can cover it up.
I begin to believe that the terms love bomb, devaluation and rejection are misleading. It sounds like a person who has only a few strange relationship features.Perhaps psychologists have missed the point in trying to find clinical words that are less offensive.
Imagine, instead of the terms we have said, charming, degraded and running.
Does this person intentionally enchant?Were they accidentally degrading? Did they run away because they were unconscious and didn’t know better?
Let us consider the behavior associated with each phase;
Charm/aka love bomb.
The person pretends to be someone else.They pretend to have and share certain moods with the aim. They secure the love and trust of the goals, and that opens a door into the life of the goals, the psyche, the home and the wallet. Now they are in a trusted position.
They are in a position they have been drawn into.They receive things they really shouldn’t get. As you cess your good, they give you a sense of guilt. You’ll feel like you shouldn’t ask for anything back, and that what you give isn’t that great. At some point you find yourself “devalued” or in lay language you feel “degraded”.
How can this person leave me after I have been so good to them and sacrificed so much? I have forgiven them on several occasions things that I would not normally forgive.Am I really the bad person they’ve made me feel like I am while they devalue/devalue me? Or did they go because I finally reclaimed something other than the guilt they usually give me? Have they taken the goods and have no intention of becoming the character they set during the Charm/Love Bomb era?
So did they plan that or did it just happen?
Is it possible for someone to lie their way into your life, take your good and give you feelings of guilt, then disappear without being bad?
I fear that doctors may be training us out of our common sense.
The abuse part, come on.The part where they go and the “devaluation”. Come on. A normal frightened person entering a relationship will not diminish the value of you. Nor will they pretend to be another person. If they do, they are far too comfortable with lying. I just can’t understand how any of it can be random. Every step is pretty dirty.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
I loved my narcissistic mother, and I believed that her “devaluation” was at least based on reality.Something in you, common sense must be broken to believe this stuff. I think this is why they do the degrading/devalue part. It’s that you start not trusting yourself and think you might be bad or wrong. Because no one, just no one, could intentionally be so bad and enjoy it.We just don’t want to see it because it’s so crazy and strange and pointless. Duper’s joy.
A clinical understanding of this material that gets us out of our understanding of evil is not healthy.Healthy means being able to react appropriately. It is inappropriate and inherently disrespectful to other adults to pretend that lying, taking things, humiliating the victim and bouncing is somehow based on some innocent unconscious tendencies due to abuse.
There is something funny, even in the process of being offshoots. It feels like a narcissist has written these terms. Love bomb, as if love were a part of it.Devalue as if the color and life had just evaporated from what you were and what you gave them, and then throw away as if you were a tissue.
No, it’s more like being cheated, used and abused, then abandoned.
- Did this person unconsciously make me think that he was someone else?
- Did they unconsciously use me to get XYZ and pretend I was a nobody who doesn’t give anything good?
- Did they leave me unconsciously?
- I say this, they make some big grins when they are confronted.
And they also double when they tell the truth. That means they can never learn it? Can’t learn? Don’t you even want to learn?
They are aware of every step, without moral judgment.Instead, they enjoy the joy of the scammers and the sense of joy in what they do.
Have they met you now and think, Gee, I’m going to have to throw away at some point?
Maybe not, but they may have thought
- I will play that role and take it as far as possible.
Of course I don’t owe anyone anything, this person is rubbish anyway.