Build bridges.They are now very angry and sad. They feel powerless. And failed as parents. It is actually quite fierce to realize that your daughter is totally in terms of other norms and values than what she has potted with a spoon. They also worry (and rightly so).
Keep explaining patiently why you made this choice.Show that you have stayed the same person. That you still love them. That you’re still the old, just something else. That you still have your old circle of friends, that you still (hopefully) do well at school and continue to do so. Good luck!
There are tens of millions of Muslim women without hijab who are truly Muslim.There is no connection between a hijab and ‘ a good Muslim ‘. So just be a Dutch (Belgian?) Muslim. And you don’t have to swap your bike for a camel or your smartphone to get out of the door. For you live in 2019. So be a modern Muslim.
Besides, Muslims have very much respect for their parents.You too?
Because you were first a 16 year old boy who wants to wear women’s clothes, and you are now a 16 year girl who wishes to wear the hijab.
Since you are converted, I assume that you have already thought a lot about your belief, so I leave that whole question.
What you can do, what other girls do the other way around, is your hijab wearing outside and inside, not with your parents (you don’t even have to wear hijab for family members according to the most stringent interpretations), so you can just temporarily solve the iig at home Without it having to get in the way of your faith.
Give your parents some habituation time and talk a lot about your new faith.Explain why the hijab is so important to YOU, as it is not literally in the Koran. Many parents just need some time to take the repentance/debasement of their child.
Do you realise that a hijab, like many other religious garments, is associated with fanaticism.This can make it harder in terms of accepting your parents.
I hope you won’t be scared off by the shortsightedness of the answers.Do what you believe in, and if you need help with your parents, switch help. People are trained to solve situations like this in a way that both you and your parents will be satisfied with. Of course you have respect for them, but nowhere does it mean that you have to do everything exactly as they want.
I think you, as a sixteen-year-but also if you had been thirty-in this particular case, should listen to your parents.
You have jumped into an interpretation of a religion that puts you away as a less human being.Forget all the apologetic indoctrination you’ve probably gotten over you in your new religious environment: the Hijab and countless other prescriptions are meant to keep women under control.
Forget the swelling of the Prophet’s respect for his wife, or the innovations in social law for women in the Koran.It does not outweigh the male rulers rhetoric.
I myself am atheist, so I strongly doubt any substantiation that you can give to suddenly believe in any god.But let us assume that this is probable, then you should ask yourself if you have not been very biased, by a specific current and a limited number of people to adhere to this interpretation.
Have you researched why in many Muslim countries many women do not wear headgear, and even dress as they want.Don’t you think it’s weird that headcloths are only compulsory in countries where women are stoned when they are raped? Or where women are not allowed to drive a car, or not to vote. Or where men even have pregnant girls?
At least let’s talk to people from more liberal currents about their explanations.
Most parents have the best with their children.They might try to keep you from disappointments or making choices that you will regret afterwards. There is nothing else to wait until you are 18 years old, until that time your parents can decide for you. If you are still behind your choice in 2 years, they will see that this is an informed choice and not a whim. If you (over 2 years) can explain well why you make this choice, they will have understanding and respect for you!
I always call the hijab ‘ the bikini-upper part of the Oriental World ‘.
There is no rational reason for or against one of the aforementioned garments.The only valid reason is: the wearer/carrier find it a pleasant idea to wear this.
Note: I personally will be rather ticky when I hear men talk very seriously about what they would think women should or should not wear, but that aside.
And as with all parents: their motivations are only to protect their children from making mistakes they would later regret.Of course, the reality is somewhat more unruly, because parents have a blind spot that we call “acidification” .And at the same time, children have a blind spot that we call “Hope” .
And this has very little to do with ideology.After all, this is one from the same category as “I want to be with my friends on a naturist camping holiday, but my parents prohibit it” or “I have a same sex partner, but my parents do not accept that”.The distance has been created, and the inability of both sides to look once in the own mirror has been uncovered.
This can be run in two ways:
- You will search for connections and interfaces (build bridges, if you like).
If your parents have put the heels in the sand, finding openings for influence is all the easier.
You become more ingenious in inventing when you can and cannot wear a hijab, and slowly work on a roadmap to leave the parental nest.
The latter is usually bad news for your parents.Your parents (like most parents) do not realise it yet, but there is a moment when they become old and creaky and needy. If they have closed that door for their children (hereinafter referred to as: first-line carers), it will be much harder for them to access other layers of help, or even to keep loneliness out of the door. You can read about it in the newspaper, if a geriatric couple of months was dead in the house before the neighbours struck the alarm because of a pungent stench.
Ibn Abbaas said: “The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked which deeds were the best.He (peace be with him) replied: “Believing in Allah and his messenger and then honor the parents.”
(Al-Boekhaari and Moeslim)
It must therefore be clear that the parents enjoy a high position and therefore they should be treated in the best way.It is therefore reprehensible to show some form of irritation to the parents when they start to become difficult. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has determined that you do nothing but worship Him alone, and give goodness toward the parents.