So I can only speak from my experience with narcissists and what I have read about it so far.
NPS is probably caused in 1st line by massive emotional and/or physical abuse, in which the child then unconsciously feels compelled to self .. his feelings .. to break off his pain.With the two malignant NPS’s people I know, they abused their child especially if it did not correspond to their ideas. In 1 of the two, this mother turns the wheel every time and plays her games and becomes very hurtful if her child doesn’t agree with her. Something she rejects, etc. This mother has observed and suppressed all efforts of the child towards herself with the greatest panic .. not suppressed .. but trampled down .. again and again.. until there was nothing left of this child’s self.
This child is growing up today and she still does.She even buys this child .. buys him everything .. because she knows that she has his unrestricted loyalty .. this ‘buy’ started from the point where I came to the picture, exactly from the moment he (we had been together for almost 2 years) finally began to question himself, to reflect and also his parents. He has them .. his mother addressed to me about it .. to all that she did to him! Before me she pretended to admit everything .. but used very manipulative, subtle formulations. She always spoke only of “these bad things that he seems to have in his memory” and she “knows that he has everything in such a bad memory.”
Later, when the two were then alone, she said to him coldly: “Nobody believes you anyway.” Because she was just panicking about how she stands outside.
Well.. and from there it began .. that ‘buy him’.And I lost him again.
(They come from an Eastern European country from which they fled.There was nothing and so I explain to myself that they are so extremely material ly, as opposed to me.)
Until then, she treated him like the last dirt….
(When I met him, I was so touched by his suffering and this terribly agonizing longing for love.)
… He longed so much for her love and this monstrous thing also knows that, because this is her dungeon, which she created for him .. and so she suddenly began to treat him in a way that he had never known about her.From that point on, our relationship slowly but surely went down the drain. She has an influence on him .. he thinks like her in almost everything. For she did not allow him i. Whenever she notices that he loosens her grave handle a little, then comes again something (gifts) where He feels obliged to her again and/or a ‘special treatment’ .. a few love words. (He just doesn’t see how monstrous she is. How can one not give one’s child his own life, no self .. I would be happy if my children find someone who loves it sincerely ????)
I would have liked him so much that her love for him is now sincere and unselfish, but unfortunately she is not.And ALWAYS and ALWAYS again I experience how she treats him like the last dirt .. then I hoped for years every time that he finally understands again .. as at the beginning .. but she hardly throws him, like ‘nem dog, a few chunks again, then he hopes again, for the fulfillment of his greatest dream. Like Me used to do with my parents. But luckily I gave it up at some point and found myself.
I could really write a book about it .. I have never experienced such a sick mother-son relationship.But in the family there will never be an awareness of it, they are full conviction, they are great and I am the sick. This has been going on for generations. His mother is not for nothing.
Has been longer than I wanted.But I thought, I’ll show the bsp. of my long-term partner, with whom I am currently in separation. I hope that this will show how NPS is created and also the TERRIBLy sad consequences it has. The people who truly love you, only want the best for one, are not recognized .. on the contrary, drawn into the same game. But these are such unconscious people who unfortunately never recognize that.