In psychology, there is a well-founded consensus that narcissism is an incurable personality disorder, which means that a person diagnosed as a narcissist is not able to use therapeutic help to manage the childhood psychological deficits in such a way that a neurotypical person would emerge from them.However, a narcissist can be helped therapeutically to dealwith his disorder.This means at least understanding them intellectually in order to react to certain life situations for the environment in a tolerable way.The problem of narcissism is above all that others suffer from it and the narcissist at most by the rejection of these others.The narcissist therefore suffers only ininuatedly from his disorder, which is why this suffering is difficult for him to understand and therefore also why he should work on himself, rather than those who suffer under it.(I use the grammatical masculine).
For the narcissist, therefore, it would be a matter of learning to recognize his disorder and its triggers, in order to understand the narcissistic behavior mediated by the disorder first through reflection and then to approach it differently.As I said, this is not easy and requires long-term therapy and a lot of discipline on the part of the narcissist, because the narcissistic impulse must be acknowledged and overcome again and again.
What is more aggravating is that there are few psychotherapists who specialize in the treatment of narcissism, as there are also few narcissists who make a serious effort to cope positively with their disorder.After all, the narcissist himself must take responsibility for the shortcomings of his education, of which he is a victim.The narcissism developed later is basically a protection against an enormous vulnerability of the self, because it was generally not allowed to be during childhood and the child adapted to the needs of the parents to be recognized by them, respectively. to be loved. The narcissist has thus never learned to be loved also for his own sake, which is why this self was stunted under the new child-produced mask of the child adapted to parental needs and finally suppressed as something inferior. Had.
The narcissistic rage that can be carried out openly or covertly protects the narcissist against the inhuman pain of not being and living, let alone being able to love, his self.This is very, very sad. For this reason, it is also easy to understand why those people who really love the narcissist also recognize some of this pain and take this grief instead of the narcissist and live long after the relationship with the narcissist has broken down. These people, for their part, must learn that this grief actually applies to their own self, which was also constricted in childhood, but which later, for whimsical reasons, did not result in narcissism, but often to an empathy behind which narcissistic mask to see the little child that they once were themselves.
However, the fact that the narcissist is a very sad figure must not conceal the fact that every adult can and should take responsibility for his self, despite the fact that he is always the “victim” of an upbringing by virtue of which he does not be his self. and therefore did not feel (partially) loved.As an adult, one can and should give this love to one’s own self, in order to live it according to one’s own response. The seriousness of self-incrimination in the narcissistic person makes it basically impossible for them to love their self; especially since it is no easy to distinguish self-love from ego love sharply. But taking responsibility, that is, at least intellectually acquiring it, can also be taken by the narcissist.