If you as parents do the divorce properly, that is not necessary.
The most important thing you need to know in a divorce is that from the moment you decide to divorce, you become a new kind of partner: not a romantic and/or sexual partner, but a parenting partner.And all the decisions you take as spouses in the divorce must reflect that.
That means that as soon as you decide to divorce, you put all the quarrels aside.These are not in the interests of your new role as parenting partners.
You make a settlement about who cares for the children, how much time both partners have.You make a scheme for the finances. And both parents are committed to abide by these agreements.
Make a generous visit arrangement for the parent whose child does not live.Create a schedule, and stick to that schedule. Do not say any appointments, you may only opposethem.So, do you have a meeting on the Tuesday night that your child would come? Get the appointment with your child to Wednesday night.
As a recipient of that request, you are then flexible, both in emergencies (“I’m out of luck on the highway, it’s not going to happen to me this evening to pick up Jan”) as in ordinary cases (“I have a dinner party that Wednesday, we can put it to Thursday n “, or” I have that weekend tickets for a theatrical performance, can we turn those two weekends around? “).If you do not already have something different, and if you have something else but you can easily convert it, you will just meet.
Be friendly with your ex. not necessarily friends, but friendly.Don’t say a bad word about your ex, nor a new partner.
Choose to be your children’s parenting partners.Then it is easy and stress-less for the children.
I’ve done my divorce so, and my guys have that much appreciated.
Is the divorce already behind, and is your rapport bad?Then I would see if you can get together with mediation to enter this.
Are the children already ‘ damaged ‘ by the divorce?I would certainly not hesitate to turn to help.
But in advance, no matter how the divorce expires?No, that’s really not necessary.
That certainly seems to me to be not a bad idea.
I would also not necessarily have to wait until the divorce is fully completed, since that can be a long process, and there is still a lot of questions or fears in the child during that process.
The psychologist can help in the processing of this change, and see if it is experienced by the child as traumatic (luckily that is often not the case).
But even after the divorce, it can be useful that the child can talk to a psychologist.After all, it is a profound event in the life of the child.
Whether it is ‘ important ‘ will depend on the specific situation.The age of the child, and how it responds to the events can vary very strongly. If you as a parent already notice that your child looks very much or is really going to behave differently, it seems advisable.
I do not think it can hurt a child to speak to a therapist after a divorce.
Especially after a nasty divorce with a lot of noise and hassle, but even after a friendly divorce, a child can have issues.
If a child can give expression to someone about how she thinks and feels about it, then that is good.
It may not even be a therapist, if only a counselor, an aunt or a grandmother or a teacher.
I think it depends on how old the child is. I think it will undoubtedly bring problems.This can be quick after the experience of separation or much later.
Going to a psychologist is (luckily) much more normal nowadays and not a taboo anymore, but I think that step is extreme. A divorce does not have to have profound consequences for everyone.For example, an intermediate solution is practical support assistance. This falls under first line care and is a good intermediate step. Such a caregiver provides practical help and can see if a psychologist is applicable.
A young child will miss things in the development because it grows up in an ‘ abnormal family unit ‘.Problems in adhesion and bonding can occur. However, I am not an expert in this area.
No.A psychologist will visit you if you have emotional problems. If the parents finish the divorce neatly and the child does not have trauma or otherwise, a psychologist is superfluous, even guessing.
If there are problems with the child because of the divorce, guidance is of course advisable.My approach, however, is not to look up the problems before they occur. The compulsory visit to a psychologist can be just as traumatic as the divorce itself, or even as an aggravating factor of divorce.
Only if the child needs it and the separation is in his/her stomach.If they are relatively easy to bump through (especially with a relaxed separation) I see no reason to go through very deep conversations with children. We do not need to medicalize the divorce.
It is important that it is spoken about, proper guidance. A divorce is not only a break between the parents, but also a break in the family and a change of dynamism.Even though someone seems to be easy to deal with, appearances are deceiving.
I have seen a psychologist for separation, one after the divorce and now a 10 years after the beginning of all the drama that eventually led to the divorce.The first two psychologists found that I was very strong in it and turned it fine, I didn’t seem to bother. Now it turns out that I was just a boulder in pushing away everything and being able to ignore myself well to stay upright. The real emotions and feelings that I experienced at the time are only coming up again. And it turns out that I have had a complex trauma to it, something that has veiled in all these years and has left its mark on my life, without being able to put the finger on it.