I do not believe in unconditional love between adults.The love that parents have for their child, that is (and must also be) fairly unconditional: the child must have the space to grow and develop, even if it is in a direction that the parents do not like. But even there are exceptions; Do you have to continue to give unconditional love to an addicted child who is rooshing your house, for example?
But between adults there is no such thing as unconditional love, and I think the myth that that exists causes far too many people to linger in relationships that are not good or even very unhealthy for them.
I only stay with my partner as long as I am convinced that it is as best with me as I do with him/her.If that ceases, and there is no talk about it, then it stops. That yielded the end of my first marriage: I was no longer convinced that it was so, and after I found it to be so too , and was not able to talk about it either. End of story. Short version, but it does cover the load.
And I think this is the healthiest attitude you can have in relationships (and friendships!!).For you are the most important figure in your life (until you get children, lol), and you should, in my opinion, ensure that the most important person in your life also lasts for a lifetime, healthy and as happy as possible. Someone who does not want to cooperate with it, or who even works against it, does not belong in that plan at home.
So that is by definition already conditional: I just want to love you if you take good care of me.Is that selfish? Sure, but on the other hand is a) selfish are not at all as bad as you B) the favor also gives to the other. In other words, I just want to love you if you take good care of me, but I also accept that you only want to love me if I am good for you. So service and Reservice.
Not that it should culminate in 50/50 and all weigh up against each other and make a little trifles.Certainly not. Well caring for the other one also wants to say that you see that the other one can not, for example. Or let certain things weigh more heavily. Okay, I didn’t get coffee on bed this morning, but she did pay all the bills all month while I was so busy on my work.
I think people who think that love is unconditional are putting much higher demands on their relationship than people who know that that is not so. That may sound contradictory, but given all of the above, it is really not.
Love, adult or infantile, I believe should always be conditional.In fact, I think love is always conditional. I do not understand the function of unconditional love. What is that unconditional love creates a relationship, except for a free card to hurt each other?
Unconditionality is always seen as the epicentre of love; The kind of love that we all should give and besiege.But I don’t see this so, I think conditional love should be the norm. In a relationship you have to do things for each other, you have to adapt and you have to bother. Of course, love doesn’t have to be conditional on the smallest things. Sometimes you have to swallow your courage and give someone his or her mistakes. But unconditional love gives you and your partner only an excuse not to stop any trouble in the relationship, to let the relationship be made up and to place your own will for that of the other. If one loves you unconditionally, how difficult is it to ever sacrifice yourself for those you love. You can make everything, there is no reason to be romantic!
Conditional love obviously doesn’t sound romantic.Romeo and Julia knew no borders or conditions. In romantic comedies often end up with the Prince and Princess on the horse, atone to each other, driving towards the sunset. But these movies never let you see what happens when the sun is under. We never see how the Prince lets himself go, developed a beer belly and has sex with his secretary. We never see how the Princess develops a nasty daydrink and tries to get painkillers with a counterfeit prescription at the pharmacy. Love is conditional, in any case. Do not let us tell you that it is not.