I thank you for this question, which many women/gentlemen who suffer from or are bound to a narcissistic partner or are in a partnership (want ) . This question implies certain hopes for improvement, ” Does he not see?how wrong? how does it hurt me ? Doesn’t he remember? how much these constant pulled-in dramas destroy me? how my personality dissolves ? “
He doesn’t see it. Point.
A narcissist is always striving for his own well-being.Exclusively.
Since he does not feel unconditional, self-fulfilling, warm love!and can give ! a love that fertilizes each other and makes every day an experience — simply because one is l i e b t ,
he falls permanently into these holes of emptiness, boredom, depressive mood which he must replenish. That’s why he’s with you …..
He cannot stay in himself,because he would be confronted with his innermost – he urgently needs !of which distraction through suggestions, action, mood, entertainment from OUTSIDE.
No matter if he “suddenly ” is interested in hot love games, staged strife with tears – then staged reconciliation , great forging of plans (which are never implemented, it’s about planning, he’s the hero here – it’s not about making others happy)
….he wants to be fit now. He needs supply. Completely no matter if lovingly played theater (mine turned into the absolute dream man for a few hours) or just dispute (but please dramatically end the ” relationship ” etc pp )
How you feel about it is secondary and anyway uninteresting. He is just not doing well, his need must be implemented immediately / satisfied.
He wouldn’t understand your injury because he’s just looking at himself like a kid. He has the psychologue.Maturity of a toddler . A toddler is allowed to say and do everything and is still loved?
The mom today is the mean, doofe ” I hate you ” … and tomorrow, everything is guuut again. This also works. For young children . And in the mother/child love .
Not under mature, adult personalities. And in the relationship / love between man and woman .
To return to the question … he certainly notices that you are feeling bad, and that he is somewhere the cause … but he will not understand. Tomorrow, everything is again guut …..
So the whole relationship will shape, he pulls the strings of his puppet (you) as he needs it. If he is after sex, he gets the – but this can also be replaced by hearty accusations / dispute or or or . Just no harmony or quiet innfulness !
He can’t give anything he doesn’t have.
I have tried here to be him unconscious!behaviour . His agging out of his whimsy, his loveless inner emptiness, from his non-existent personality to explain
There are his practices of devaluation, hoovers, gaslighting the … so I think … very consciously and intentionally used to hurt you. Which is certainly also to do with his disturbed personality and he uses in a way ” to survive ” . Here agged , the self-sustaining, set up, trained personality.
The man who used me could easily separate both sides of intentional and unintentional injuries.
What remains is the injury. Think carefully what you value to you ?!
I ask to note that I report only from experience and handling. Explain my view of things. If you are really in close relationship with an N. – please seek help from trained, trained therapists . It does not help to talk something nice, just as and very important !is the research of causes with and within itself, why one has to offer such dealings ? what? was there to love ?