I have too few real friendships. After high school I lost my group of friends and I don’t have a group of friends because I work and study in another city (distance issue). How do I find a new friends/friends groups?

Many people believe that a social life with new friends/groups of friends is something that must happen naturally , without you having to do something yourself.I do not agree with that.

For some people it can indeed happen reasonably spontaneously in a certain phase of their lives, but that is certainly not for everyone. And that is why many of us today miss a social life that gives satisfaction.

When you are still in school, you have contact with many other people and your social circle will develop more often.But if you are an accountant who works all day only in an office, not much comes out and is rather shy in nature, then your social life probably leaves much to be desired.

Developing A social life requires an active and strategic approach, just like developing a career or growing a business.An approach based on setting goals, and taking action to achieve those goals.That is why I would like to share three strategies to build a social life.

1.Understand who you are.

A gratifying social life looks different for different people.Some of us need a lot of friends and a broad social circle.Others prefer just a few friends, but they are very close to us.And some prefer a mix of the two.

What is your preference? Do you know?Take the time to think about this and make yourself a picture of what your ideal social circle should be.

Another aspect to think about is what kind of people you want in your social circle.Do you prefer people who are more artistic, or people who are more focused on technology or technique? People who like to go out or people who prefer to stay inside?

Usually, you will best match people who look like you.Therefore, I recommend you to analyse your personality or communication style (possibly using an MBTI or DiSC profile) and consciously decide which characteristics are important for you to find in others.If you know what people you want in your life, then you are much more likely to find them.

2.Go where they are.

Once you know what kind of friends you’re looking for, it’s time to take action to meet them.This seems rather evident, but it is something that many of us forget: If you just wait for others to come to you, you will never build a social circle. You have to take the initiative and go to them.

My tip here is to think of activities where you have a chance to meet people you like to join, and get involved in some of those activities.

This way you can follow a course on a topic you are interested in.Whether you become a volunteer at a charity, or you join an Association (if you’re twenties or Thirtier then JCI is a nice option).

Even if you have no friends at the moment, you can still apply this strategy.You can get involved in such activities and meet other people there. In this strategy the Internet is your friend. You can discover all sorts of courses online, social events, associations and organizations in your area.

But know that it is only the first step. After that, you have to come out of your home effectively, go there and participate.

3.Be the first to be friendly.

Suppose you follow a digital photography course.There are many others. What do you do? Usually people remain passive.Many of us sit there and expect others to come to us, ask us questions, and chat with us. And that can happen. Or neither.

What is certain is that this is not the best approach. You must first be the first to be friendly.Be the one who breaks the ice. Step in to other people and introduce yourself to them. Then start chatting with them. For example, ask them how they have come to the course or the event, how long they are already interested in photography, and then continue with other topics. And if it looks like they love to talk to you (and usually that’s the case), keep the conversation going.

It may not be easy for the first time, especially if you are not used to stepping on other people.But it’s something you get used to by doing it.

The trick is to not let you hinder by the natural hesitation that you feel.And I can tell you from experience that if you are social and friendly with new people, they will gladly see you for that.

Bonus strategy: Make new friends by your current friends.

If you build up a new social life from scratch, the beginning is always the hardest piece.But once you’ve met some people, it becomes a whole lot easier because you can meet even more people thanks to them. You can then meet some of their friends and expand your social circle.

A proactive approach works best. Let your friends know that you are interested in meeting new people and that you want them to introduce you to people they know.

If it’s really your friends, they’ll love to do it. They can invite you to come to a party where they go, and they can introduce you to new people. But you have to let them know that their help is welcome.

The good news is that the bigger your social circle becomes, the easier it is to apply this strategy.Your social life will expand faster and faster, and you will find it increasingly easier to meet people you agree with.

Your social life is completely in your hands. You can have a social life that is as rich and diverse as you want.All you need is a little planning and take a lot of action.

There is certainly no shortage of opportunities to meet people and make friends.It is up to you to take advantage of these possibilities. Great luck!

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