My first marriage was catastrophic because we faced each other.Well, that won’t be a problem, but he wanted to change me. We’re two different worlds, he came from a poor family – I came from an upper middle class, he saved every penny – I spent every penny, he never devoured food – I did it sometimes, he took life seriously – I think life is fun.
He’s always cooked, he’s spent every waking hour in the kitchen and cooked like crazy (no, he’s not a chef).I tried my best to live up to his expectations, so I tried to clean the house properly, but when he came home he never thanked him, he just said that the best thing is when I don’t even try to clean because I’m crap in it.
I can’t cook, but I tried it, but he was like ” You forgot to put spices in” and he threw it away.I tried to iron his shirts over and over again, and he told me not to even do it because I’m shit because of it. He spent hours looking for bargains, when we were running out of soap, he put some water in the bottle so we could use it for another week, but the best part is that he didn’t let me use the bus.
I had to walk an hour and a half to work and back because he said something like “bus tickets are expensive, we have to save”.I bought him a car, so he didn’t even have to take a bus. My friends were outraged, my best friend always joked when he said, “Child, you can only see a bus from the outside, it’s time for you to leave the guy.” He saved money because he wanted us to go on a two-year expedition around the world. I wasn’t allowed to wear girly clothes, just military stuff he bought me from Iraq (he’s European, but served in Iraq for a while), like UnderArmours, desert boots, Camelbak backpack with the water supplier, so I don’t have to spend money on still water while I’m in town.
For the holidays he took me on survival trips to rural countries, I had to walk for three hours in cold rivers (ankle-high), sleep in a horse stable, learn how to use a knife, taught me Krav Maga, I had to spend a 30 kg heavy on these trips. Carrying a backpack….. and I never said “no” and I don’t know why I never tried to stop this madness.
I had to climb mountains and learn to climb in “real life,” not to practice in a gym, to climb (once I collapsed, so he gave me caffeine tablets to keep going).We were in places where wolf and bears were frequent because he wanted to teach me how to deal with my fears. He once told me to walk alone down a street full of wild dogs because I have dog phobia, and I’ve been scared of dogs since I was four years old. I really thought I was going to die, there were dogs all around me, and he told me to just keep running, not to look, but to walk slowly.
Luckily, they just barked, but never attacked me.I had my own salary, but he always took it away and put it on another card, so I didn’t stay behind with many.
But he never asked anything he wouldn’t do, but I always had to carry a knife around with me because he told me, “You never know who you’re going to meet, you always have to be ready to fight or die.”
I’m the greatest hippi you can ever meet, naive, easy to trust, I believe in the good and I also believe that the universe that cares about me, so carrying a knife was outside of my character, and I hated it.
Long story in short, I learned that he had cheated on me, so I took the card and spent half of my money on it, I bought my normal high heels, perfumes and my normal elegant dresses – so all I was before I met him.I left him immediately and now I’m happy. My current husband is amazing, I no longer carry apartments, we have fancy holidays, but when he asks me to take a walk in EVERY forest, I immediately say “no”. That doesn’t happen. I am a big city girl, love my big city life, love being my irresponsible self and will never let anyone change me, not even a bit.