When I was 15 years old,
I was a selfish sufferd.
When I was 25 years old,
I was a selfish irresponsible sufferd.
I became father,
Now almost 5 years ago.
Of the one on the other day, I held for the first time in my life more of someone other than myself.
This changed everything.
At parties I suddenly couldn’t stay long.
Friends found me a boring house father,
And that could not give me any more care.
At home now, someone was waiting for me who needed me harder,
And that changed everything.
The image of the boring house father always buked me into fear;
If I had nightmares and woke up, bathed in sweat, that was because of the image of the boring house father.
I had now become a dull house father myself,
And that was-and is completely OK.
So I have changed the past 5 years.
I have changed from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan.Kuch.
Been homeless, lost ten-year relationship, done my best to fit into society like society like that.The brave worker they want. To find out that I just can’t function in not challenging repetitive functions where they expect you to say yes and Amen keeps saying.
To the point that I would rather have eradicated all mankind would have to play along with the rest of the people and the world.
Now I just want to suffer my life in the way I want, inventing who I really am and what I really want while I work on my health through nutrition and sports.As I study all the subjects I want to study in order to come to an approach that I believe is the most potential of me physically and mentally to figure out in the meantime to which I want to put myself. Something that makes the whine, the driver and the stress that comes from working with other adults worth defy. Or bearable at least.
But am still of the opinion that anyone who deliberately blocks the way in can spontaneously fly on fire.And anyone who does it unconsciously, may be pushed roughly to the side. Be ready that others decide for me what a good life is and is a good citizen. Be ready with people who decide what others can and cannot do and make. I now just want to be the best I can be.
Especially the last 3 years actually.
Dec ‘ 14 bought a house with my toemlingual girlfriend, we had too tight wagered on the mortgage so, partly because of my income, not enough and I did not know to change.
Oct ‘ 16 She put a point behind our relationship that was final, I changed abruptly, went more sports because felt less pressure because it was now really for myself, and continued where MN life ‘ stopped ‘ as 17 years old.Would I want a new relationship I had to improve myself again in where I was short shot before. I had several relationships in the 2 years following what I learned a lot about what I certainly did not wish to have. I felt stronger and freer than before, I had completed a obstaclerun of 14km, despite having already had calf cramps after 4km. I went to festivals that I had previously restricted myself to.
Further in my work, partly because of not wanting to change before, more to stand up for myself.Eventually gain a salary increase but then find out, that not only the salary, but also the growth process was on its ceiling, and thus in Jan ‘ 18 of work exchanged. Here again, from just assisting and working almost on myself, to be a complete team player, something that before and also now, a lot of effort costs. But it was formed in a way I was happy with it.
Now since a year a relationship and 2 children as bonus there, so, all of a sudden.Change myself again and take more accountability again, have, and be the best bonus Daddy for children who live in a already well-squabped world, but at the same time do not get rid of yourself.
Resume, from carefree mid-twenties in a fixed pattern, to a thirtier who takes matters into his own hand, is responsible and wants to be the best for himself and his environment every day.
I don’t think I’ve changed substantially; However, I have learned things, gained insights.Perhaps behavior will have changed, but the person is not/hardly.
Become the man I would have laughed 15 years ago.;-)
Edit: And so you see again how important it is to first read the question properly.;-)
I grow daily in knowledge, character and skill (faith), which makes me look more like Jesus on a daily basis.
I think I’ll go along with the time, with the world, so I’m going to become rouwiger towards others (with reason?) Don’t make more friends so easily.Just trust myself, for everything. I was raised and raised in another world, a world in which you could have faith, with fewer lies, where there was even labelling, where one was polite. I would like to return the time of earlier.