A child without a mother is a flower without rain.Indian proverb
Mother, I hate you!I despise you abysmally for my birth in your merciless world. You didn’t want me, I always felt it. Your heartless gaze, your hateful groaning at my sight. Even for my red hair, you were ashamed, mother. You didn’t want my brother either. Would you want to peel it out of your pregnant body. What did you do with us, Mother? What have you done? Even when I wanted your milk, I made mistakes. Even then I was too reluctant to you. You rejected me for rejecting your warm chest. I didn’t want to hurt you, Mom. I didn’t even have teeth. On the nights When I was screaming, I wasn’t training my lungs. I screamed for you – after YOU – I was scared. There was no other reason, Mom! I wanted to lie in your arms and sleep there. But you didn’t get me. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years I screamed for you, but you never came to take away my fear of this world and father. I had nothing. I only had the darkness of the room to comfort myself and that darkness is now forever a part of me. Why didn’t you come? Why didn’t you stop him when he reached for the screen to hit me!! I didn’t destroy the neighbor’s toy! It wasn’t me. Even after 50 years, I am still innocent of this act, but received the maximum sentence for it. I don’t trust you, Mother. I don’t trust you, Father. Why didn’t you make me dead in the forest! Father, your hand should caress me, very gentle and dear! I sometimes dream of how you caress me and take me into your strong arms. It does so well, this dream, Dad. Why couldn’t you love me? But I can understand you, I feel the same way.
A mother is the first woman in a man’s life.In it he learns closeness, security, refuge, security, trust, warmth, love and care. On her a man learns what he can later (s) give to a woman unselfishly. From her, the little boy learns unconditional love to and from a woman. If this child has not received this and in his place received cold, rejection, chastening, insults, humiliations and the withdrawal of love, or love only for commendable performance, then a child’s soul, which is permanently stressed, cramps. The traumatized soul creeps into a dark cool place where she sleeps and dreams. She has given up hope of being truly loved. A calculated survivalist remains awake, who weathers every danger, pays watchful to every hand movement of the father, adjusts his behavior to please, lies to avoid humiliation, cheats to feel happy once. So, and that’s the only way my narcissist came into being, and maybe yours.
Mine Narcissus has declared his mother dead.It wasn’t until much later that I found out she was still alive. I could understand that he chose this path. He had turned away; self-protection.
In psychology, it is widely ensured that a narcissist emerges from a family with narcissistic structures.Narcissistic structures, however, not only produce narcissists, but also co-addicts, since both children suffer the same primal pain (they are thus the two sides of a coin)and accordingly also dress energetically as adults. In a tragic way, they are actually soul-related.Therefore, it is all the more consequential that the co-addict is exposed to narcissistic abuse, because he himself has already had to endure hardships as a child. The narcissist does not understand that he is now punishing this very innocent child – who he himself once was – with his own hands and equal; co-dependent. The narcissist does not understand that he became like the woman he hates the most.
How does a narcissist deal with his mother’s death?
He hates the fact that he has not even learned to forgive her.