Allow me to start with an anecdote.
My wife works with young people and more specifically with young people with ‘ problems ‘.
At present, it is mainly young people who have a time with them to make a correct diagnosis through an observation period and then to accompany parents and school in the hope that the young people will find their way back in society.
Previously, she also worked with young people who were placed by the juvenile court.Most young people in their department had committed ‘ facts ‘. (Personally, I have always found it amusing how the social sector has appointed matters: A minor who commits a criminal offence will not be in Belgium for the criminal court but may appear before the juvenile court. In Belgium, this is called a ‘MOF ‘ or a ‘ offence described ‘ or, In short, a ‘fact‘.
This is to outline the work situation of my wife.They get occasional students who work with them.
One of these students apparently had to step up the day before and the drink air was clearly noticeable.
I suppose this is inappropriate in most work situations, but if you work with young people where some have a drink and drug addiction background, it is obviously a problem.
His internship supervisor found it really too splitting and made a comment about it.
However, the message was not clear, because later in the day the trainee told my wife that his internship supervisor wanted him to be more deoderant.
Instead of mentioning the problem by name and by indicating that he was stilled in the beverage and that this really could not be the case with the target audience, she had dropped that he was spreading a ‘ air ‘ and that he could look for it.The student had interpreted this as being that he had to use some more deo.
Everything depends on the situation, but sometimes it is better to mention things by name and to provide clarity.Of course you don’t do that ‘ and plein public ‘ but you best take the person equally apart. Moreover, one odor is not the other. I usually appoint a sweat smell to my own children as ‘you have exactly a hard sport‘.Meanwhile, they already have what I mean by this and that they take a shower and attract other clothes.
This is very embarrassing but this situation has happened to me several times with dating and intimacy.
I noticed it when I was lying in bed with a guy who very badly smoke in certain areas, and it was very difficult for me to deal with it… Because it’s all… Was a bit too late.(It happened with 3 different men, and every time I couldn’t say anything.)
Another date came to meet me after he had spent the day wrapping up for his move, and when I picked him up at the train station, I smelly his stinky feet in my car… It was a hot summer day (and it made things worse), so I asked him, “What do you think of taking a quick refreshing shower at my home before going to dinner?You will be longing for it! “.
Unfortunately this did not remove the smell from his shoes and I was really struck down by this person that I finally drove him back to his house, with all the windows of the car open and… Yeah, I drove a little too fast… and got a fine.
It was terrible, but worth the fine.
If the smell of a person bothers you, I would suggest to just tell them that they have a strong and very personal body odor and that you have trouble with it.And that you do not mean it as an insult. Maybe it hurts them, but maybe it also helps them to change for the good.
That is my opinion, although I think this situation is so embarrassing that I have never actually dared to speak out loud.
I once worked with a really nice guy who had a very strong body odor.As a supervisor, I felt it was my duty to say something about this, especially after other colleagues were also disturbed.
The things I remember from the conversation are:
- Get ready: It will be a difficult conversation anyway, so take it seriously and get prepared at the start.
Also consider different scenarios where you may need to anticipate.
Then give him or her all the time to process and answer everything. Before they speak, you say nothing more. Nothing! My God, what lasted that silence long….
Maybe another shirt can attract at noon already a step in the right direction. Do not leave it in the determination without a plan of action. If the other is overwhelmed, it may suffice to schedule a follow-up conversation.
You deserved it because you wanted to help another person!
It seemed to me a heavy task at the same.Now we are many years later and I no longer work with the person in question, but every year it follows a card as thank you for the chat we had.
I would first of all make sure that I am alone with the person concerned.
I would then indicate that I have something to say that is of a delicate nature.
“I have to say to my regret that I have noticed that your body smells unpleasant.I find it very annoying for you, but it is for you that I say it, and I don’t want anyone to hurt you with it. “
If you have already suffered from it, you can make it more enjoyable for the other person by being honest and sharing, that you have also agreed.
“(name), I have to tell you something nasty-I can smell your body”
The best way is simply to say.Keep it short, concise and simple.
If I can smell someone, and I know the person, I’m going to stand with the person and then I gently whisper that I can smell the person.
“Hey I can smell you.I think you will freshen up your best. I don’t want anyone else to say anything about it and laugh at you or criticize you. I am sorry if you feel uncomfortable or hurt, but it is for your sake that I say so. “
You can do this in your own words.
What you can still do is to appeal to the person, and instead to say something about the smell pointing to, for example, the feet, or the armpits and briefly indicate (in a non-verbal manner) that the body part smells by squeezing or touching your nose, for example.
If you know that the person is quite sensitive, choose an indirect approach before (for example, offer a deodorant, and say “Hey, I believe you can use this).
If the person can take a beating, feel free to say what it is about.
Someone could smell me (eg.Sweat smell) Then I would also like to have that BVB. A colleague or partner tells me.
Two words: “You stinks!”
Seriously, you just have to be able to say the truth in this type of case.You don’t have to say it aloud, but you can also whiff someone that they have a problem with their body odor.
Yes, it can be embarrassing to say this to someone but honesty is usually appreciated.People who feel hurt have a double problem because they are stink and do not tolerate the truth. So just open your mouth and be honest.
You can also bring a long story around it but short and concise is just the best.It’s not something that needs a long discussion and if you take someone apart to say it silently, that’s more than when you tell someone quickly (and gently) that you can smell them. And continue to be friendly and well-lachs.
People will generally be reasonably happy if they are warned because they don’t usually notice it.A short note and they can quickly get some deodorant to mask it. (Unless their perfume stinks, of course…)
Concerning perfume… I have sometimes told someone that I didn’t smell their perfume.The next day she already used a lot less. At some point she did not know that she did not notice the smell and therefore started using it more and more. And that’s the problem because a lot of people don’t smell their own stench.
I once got to know a group and in the group there was a very interesting guy.The only thing that was wrong with him was that he never went into the shower… His scent was terrible. Once I found that too tricky and thought the following: “If I tell him what I think about it, I am not the withers who say the raw truth, but he is the withers that forces me to tell such a thing.” This thought helped me tell him the truth. That of course is a little “black white” thinking.. Because in the end it was certainly a psychological disorder but yes… You also can’t bear the poverty of the world on your back….
This is more of an anecdote than an answer to the question.
Some people do not like washing themselves.So we had someone in the house years ago, quite a nice person, but he was dirty with soap and water. If I told him to wash better, he said, “I was me,” when I said he would smoke dirty, he said that it was not. I still managed to wash his clothes, but on his body he was very economical.
When he had been to the toilet I said “you have to wash your hands” “I was always my hands,” he said.And suddenly I had it through “Yes, you wash your hands forever”, I said, and he walked with an acid face to the crane.
Had I said evil “No you never Wash you”, then he was sitting on the couch with a smile.After all, he never washes himself. But now I admitted that he did waste himself… This is one of the greatest lessons I have learned. Overcome without struggle.
My underarms need little reason to get active.Something I already got since I became a teenager.
There are many ways to note that it is to be noted. Anyway the stains in my clothes, the smell was and is barely brought up.
I also have friends who have a perceptive scent, so I have also experienced how the other side is.
A number of things have been noticed and I have learned.
- Even though I know I’m comfortable with someone, I won’t do that myself soon.
Even though I know which wording is and is not fine. It still remains a fragile and intimate thingy.
That is hurtful. The one is aware of the problem (especially if it is chronic) and may already do all sorts of things to remedy it. They know how they experience it themselves, but not how it is for the environment. Subtle is the key.
“Are you hot?”/”Do you want to borrow some deo?”/Do you have clean clothes? /Do you want to be able to wash?
For how much I feel the moisture, I don’t always smell it, the smell gets used and is known. “Okay, that was quite exciting, got it hot. I’m going to squirt, or does it come along? “
Some do not pick up the hint or find it not such a problem.I know someone who rested his socks the day after that, after a full day in steel noses working outdoors. Saying that I could smell that it was his socks from yesterday, unfortunately did not help enough. Consistently throwing in the wax, somewhat. Two things that are no longer in my power, yet there is something to linger, because the smell is not present every time.
Do a pinch on your nose then you don’t have to say much.