Lets Talk about XXX
I limit myself in my response to a fairly recent issue: the available access of eroticism from the internet everywhere, so that young people are confronted with explicit sex and pornography early on.
It is difficult to talk about it in a relaxed way and the opinions of parents also differ enormously.Therefore an analogy to join the perception world of children.
Just take Donald Duck.
He lives in a fantasy world full of special people. Weird crooks, inventors, alien creatures, crazy neighbors, an uncle swims in money and witches on broom stealing.
Inspiring and imaginative
You can ask a child if he would like to live in such a world.There are a lot of funny and exciting things you can laugh about. Experience Adventures, find treasures and rockets.
Strange and scary
Less fun are monsters, big dangers and strange quarrels with neighbors.The rules in Donald Duck sometimes change very much and you don’t know where you are. It is not a realistic place and rarely long quiet.
The real World
Donald Duck is fantasy and in real terms there are other rules, also in contacts at school, with a girlfriend, separate people, your parents and friends.Life according to a comic strip is not possible.
Hobby and Collectors
Some children have a lot of comic books.That is not bad, as long as they do their homework, go to school, have friends and behave neatly towards people, with decency and respect.
Pornography: Fantasy, no more or less
Like Donald Duck, pornography is sometimes funny and exciting, sometimes scary.And some things really cannot. And if you’re sitting with something you see, it’s good to share it with someone you trust. And no one is allowed to force you to see or do anything you do not.
Mainstream pornography or Extreme
Of course, pornography is a broad concept that you hope will not be confronted with a lot, if they are going to look if necessary just home-garden-kitchen pornography or light erotic.It is usually better to talk first about soft-erotic and medium-sex, for your extreme things discusses. Sometimes that’s better for a follow-up conversation and too much in one go.
You can develop the equation yourself or make it even simpler, depending on the age of the children.This certainly offers connecting points to engage with children in a relaxed way. Remember that your attitude and appearance sometimes more says your words!
Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on my girlfriend makes no sense to cuddle with me but she does look at naked men in ‘ Temptation Island ‘.Why are they deliberately putting sexy men in that kind of TV programs that I can’t compete with?
Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on does the notion of “no sex for marriage” still exist?Also separate from the religious world?
Answer from Cornelis Zandbergen on I had sex with my boyfriend yesterday for the first time and after we were done, he said it was very different than he had imagined.It sounded a bit negative, but is that so too?
As a 33-year-old single mother with a son of 17 years I have experience with it.If I do the right approach, I do not know, but I certainly hold on to the following issues during a conversation, as a position from mama to son, but also advice that I learned during my study for social work, (so not all of them personally Applied):
- Do not fall into reason, let the teenager talk out before giving your answer & do not even make any sentences, even if his question may not always come out smoothly
- If a question is unclear to you (teenager does not always dare to ask the question well, so it is not always very clear what he want to know exactly), ask for clarification so that you can certainly not give a wrong answer.
Or eg say something in the nature of: “Do I get it right that you want to know…… or do you mean something else?”
Please report extra that it is normal for people to have different preferences or something that makes it clear that the teenager does not have to feel bad about this
When I asked if he needed contraceptives he said no, but I got there anyway and just let them know where they lay in his room. When I cleaned up his room I could check if I had to buy one without asking him a question for him. He would have “clogged” them, but of course as a mother and poetsend you can find out where it is
I hope you have something to do with it!Good luck