The longer I write for Quora, the clearer it becomes to me that in our society we do a whole lot of things built on old foundations.
I think we have to throw a whole bunch.And one of the things we have to throw around is the way we deal with making mistakes.
Making mistakes is usually not bad at all.Yes, if a person cannot stop making the same mistake, that is of course very much. But a first time make a mistake or occasionally es make a mistake once? Let’s say, that’s human anyway?
From an early age we learn that making mistakes is not good. And that prevents us from going better with it.
The most important change is PRECISELY the question: What went wrong?
So not: You answered that sum error, but: How did you come to that outcome?
Because then you discover that a thinking pattern is not quite right.Or that the job is not well understood. Or that someone else made an error that caused the next person to have an error pattern.
So I do not think there are many mistakes that cannot be learnt.Though it’s just 芒 鈧?艙that was a bad idea, 芒 鈧?but even of it you can go into more detail: yes but why was that a bad idea?
Failure I found terrible.Unacceptable. Eventually that resulted in the fact that I almost no longer moved. Not literally of course, but your sense of doing something drops quite a bit, because yes in everything you do you can fail in a big or small sense.
That may not be the intention I thought then to myself.Anyway-certainly at the little things, where do I get busy. There are no deaths or so.
So behave just as normal.That thought helped and quickly solved the small business, and I came back in motion. After very long debris removal (all the little things I hadn’t done and still wanted to do) I arrived at the bigger business.
I took a break here, because I couldn’t just put it over.There was nothing else to discover where this fear came from. After a while ‘ backtracking ‘ I found out that if something didn’t succeed me-I got a lot of sense. I then got the feeling ‘ not good enough ‘. When I looked at it I found out that that feeling would just be old when I was myself. As a child, I didn’t feel good enough about my parents either. There was constant measurement, to other children, other girls, ‘ Why are you not so? ‘ and so on and there was a lot of complained. In General. As a child (with autism, they had that but conscience!) I took that pretty seriously. Finally at the end of the ride was my conclusion as a child-nothing is good enough, so I will not be good enough either. I can still remember that I wondered as a child, why they chose a child if I shouldn’t exist. I think I was a year or 9, then I certainly did not really exist for 15 years. A kind of shadow of myself.
Anyway, when I looked at all that failure hassles I found out that failure brought me back to where the feeling first existed.The moment I decided I’d better not exist. That moment was so painful-that I now without it I had it by myself in protection took.
I unconsciously did everything to make me never feel ‘ not good enough, should not exist ‘ and that went as far as myself to learn the fear of failure so that I would never feel that pain again.That was, of course, not the right solution, because here I also went under suffering. Nevertheless, I think this is THE example of how deeply rooted something can sit and I only came back when I was going to fight the symptom. There I got something more space/rest for back and then it struck me that this happened. Something that doesn’t really suit me either. As a child-before I decided not to exist-I was heartening and brave, I was fascinated, I dared everything. And now I had anxiety? Weird!
Crazy enough, ‘ the cause to figure ‘ has changed everything for me.As a curse that was lifted. I could move freely again. The spell, the marking, which is still there, is in the deepest of me, there is a stone and it is engraved ‘not good enough‘.I spent days, maybe soaking my head over broken. “How do I get that text from that stone.” Whatever I did, going through scratches, paints, you call it. The next day it was there again. Finally, I decided to accept the stone. He is there, and that is what it says. It’s not my words, but another’s scratch. I left it loose.
Months later, I suddenly figured out, who says I can’t write something about it?Back to ‘ inside ‘, ‘ Hi Steen, I’ll write a little bit. ‘
‘ Not good enough ‘
ACCORDING TO WHOM?
Now if something fails, yes of course I get angry, on myself.Then I still hear ‘ not good enough! ‘ shortly thereafter, however-‘ according to who? ‘
Oh Yeah-I find myself well enough and I may sometimes fail.
In three simple steps:
- Understand the value of acquired knowledge.
You have failed.Is not bad, you have to succeed in your attempt to know. This is valuable. You will sink for the exam 芒 鈧?艗effective Meadow birds Spotten芒 鈧? but during the process of learning for the exam, you have learned a lot about meadow birds. You have learned how to learn for this exam. This is very valuable knowledge. This knowledge put together we call: 芒 鈧?艗investigate what is to save valt芒 鈧?
It was not up to you, so much is clear to you.But that is not very, you are going to take this thought exercise with the assumption that it is yours. What did you do wrong? How would you do it differently next time? What aspects have you overlooked? You will not have overlooked most of the aspects, but still try to find a few.
Failure is like a bucket that runs over.Somewhere there was that drop that it did run over. What kind of drop was that? The quantity was that? Where did that drop come from? This is actually the 芒 鈧?艙low hanging fruit in failing-up芒 鈧?
Ignoring these three steps is a recipe for failure where nothing good comes out.Yes, it will cost you a few nights of raveling, but nothing tastes as sweet as after the victory look back and come to the discovery that the road there was the most fun.
Can I not actually have a failure (which I must have experienced my life several times) Hale who has made a lasting impression on me, albeit that I still know how maintained I was (angry with myself?) after having fallen for the exam obstetrics Prior to my co-assistanship obstetrics-gynecology, still do not know why I got down then, did the exam overdone and as expected, amply succeeded (1969).Half a year later I succeeded for the Doctor exam 2 (late 7th year) and I became a physician.
Think that as a practical person I would think: that obviously does not work, it should be different, how?Do I still want to pursue this goal, or is it (as yet) not feasible, to postpone, or completely abandon, a more feasible moment. Then continue with my life.
In my good/normal times I look at what I did wrong and what extent it was to myself; and what I can improve on this.
(Thinking & improving is okay; overthinking out of the way go though, this just created more problems that there are 9 out of 10x not even actually.)
In My worse times, the times when you have enough on your head; I dare not/I do not want to see what I did wrong and I prefer to insert my head in the ground.
Have learned that putting your head in the ground doesn’t help & that when you do this the mistake will repeat an X and you’ll have to learn from it later.
Failure is never quite another’s fault, somewhere there is a part of the failure whose responsibility lies with yourself, even if it is so small: try not to give the other parties on the upside, but look what you have been able to do better.(Do not trust any evildoers anymore, but do not stop altogether with trusting others)
Personally, I think you can always learn some of failure, however heavy or painful the failure was.It builds character and it makes you mentally stronger.
Keep failing & learn from it!No one is perfect.
It’s just about how you fail, but basically the simple fact that you know by failure knows how something shouldn’t be, something good an sich.I am usually angry at myself when I am doing something wrong or I am ashamed of it. Especially if it is a foreseeable failure or a repeated failure. I think this is a normal human reaction and if you are so clumsy (in making things) like me, it seems to be an infinite learning process and eventually after many times I have a little bit of a mess where I am best proud , although it will never reach a professional standard.
There are indeed failures that no longer come well or where nothing good comes out.On the world stage are the Salem who voted on Trump and continue to follow him blindly. This is a continuous failure, especially since it is so obvious that it is absolutely inappropriate for that position and does more harm than good. On a personal level, I consider the drunken saying of things that can destroy whole relationships as an example of a failure that does not bode well. And believe me, I have failed very often in that area. And not only while I was drunk.
芒 鈧?艙Falen芒 鈧?is by definition a bad outcome.The only positive out of failure is that a way is now found that does not work (Edison). Failure should bring us to a better attempt. It’s never good to make a habit of failure!
In English There is a saying, 芒 鈧?艙The employee has been promoted to the level of his/her incompetence. 芒 鈧?Some is a promotion the only way to put a staff member out of the way.Unfortunately.
In My work environment, the plan is that a failing staff member gets an improvement plan.Certain steps are planned, with clear expectations within a reasonable time period. Only then can we think of dismissal.
I do with some regularity things that are a bit silly on closer inspection.I like to make the room for my colleagues and my team to be able to fail, checked for as far as possible and useful. Failure is just learning. The most failure is in small pieces of leeway that you get and make to do your thing. Maybe I should call it micro-failure.
For every decision made I make a balancing of what the risks are versus what the investment is. That makes failure a relatively simple decision.How much do I have for that something failed? Most minor failures (certainly at work) are in the margins of the normal work and make the quality often fast improving as the team learns better and faster.
I can explain this in 1 picture: