I have had a very difficult life.So hard that I write an autobiography about it. Sometimes it felt like I was the heroine in a book by Virginia C. Andrews: The bad things seemed to follow each other and it looked like there was no way out, as if it would never stop.
All my friends always said, “Celine, I do not know how you can still continue, and how you manage to be happy still”.
I was not always happy, but at that time I had already devised a few things to deal with problems.
The most important thing I realized when I was 18: I figured out that accepting some things I couldn’t change, whatever happens, would help me.And that to fool myself about such things would not help me.
Acceptance.Such a simple word… Difficult to put into practice.
Especially when, like me, you tend to be a fighter.
To accept the difficult times that took place and which I could not change, I created a kind of mantra in my head.
I figured out that there was a quota of good things and bad things that had to happen to you during your life.
So every time something difficult would come on the road, I would think: there… It now happens that I am young and strong enough to deal with it.I can tick this off the list… And that later means more happiness for me.
It may sound a bit crazy, but it helped me through really tough times.
I am currently in a dismissal situation from bankruptcy.That’s not a very nice time. My children also feel that and my eldest, empathic and intelligent that she is, worries about that. I explained to her the following:
Every situation is difficult, but you should always bear in mind that there is someone somewhere in the world who is more difficult than me. There are also those that have better, but you have to relativate to keep a positive perspective.
Some people would rather not relativate.They have been raised from childhood with the 芒 鈧?虄people are Unique鈩?and 芒 鈧?虄everything is done with a Reason鈩? That is funest. Why? Because all the things that cause negative feelings to you 芒 鈧?虄the Reason鈩?have to do that, which you do not understand and that is doubly wrong. That is, you feel less, because 芒 鈧?虄jij芒 鈧劉 It does not seem to grasp (negative self-image) and that it is bad with you is your own fault (selffullfilling prophecy on top of the negative self-image).
This is irrelevant.First, remember that in another situation you have seen another the negative effect, and you happily praised yourself that you were not and that the other one also said: 芒 鈧?虄Och, why I 芒 鈧?虄time 芒 鈧劉 芒 鈧劉. Things happen and that happens because someone has caused it, but unless someone has started it with purpose to put you in a heel (another negative reaction we often have: 芒 鈧?虄Yes, it has always been provided to me鈩? Again negative self-image, again selffullfilling, because it is a so-called 芒 鈧?虄confirmation Bias芒 鈧劉. It supposedly confirms what you think 芒 鈧?虄time-鈩?already), it is never with reason to bring you into difficulties, but sometimes it does have that effect.
If you are weighing everything together, positive is always better than negative:
- You’re fired: That’s a possibility (despite the financial implications) for something new.
- You lose something animal perch: You still have the reminder and as long as it is positive, it still gives you that why it was dear to you.
If you process negatively, it also loses its value for the future (and so it was not so important to you).
Perspective is the most important. There are always several options: 1. You stop everything and never win. 2. You take the challenge and says I can do this (or who trying). 3. You come across yourself and have a good reason to cooperate with others, something that is always a constructive thing (even if it is with people you prefer not working together).
Being positive is a choice.If you maintain it long enough, it becomes a natural behavior. That can help in processing many things. As a human being, We are an empathic species, but also have the opportunity to make choices.
I’ve always been someone pulling to a dead horse.The myth of Sysiphus could be written about me.
According to the myth, the gods had condemned Sisyphus to constantly pushing up a boulder to the top of a mountain, where it then automatically rolled down again.Sisyphus was punished with a useless and hopeless labor. Camus draws a parallel between this myth and life.
When Sisyphus descends into the mountain to resume his task, he is fully aware of his miserable condition and stands above his fate, according to Camus.芒 鈧?艗the struggle in itself against the summit is sufficient to fill the heart of a human being.
We have to give us Sisyphus as a happy person.
In the difficult times, I get a feeling of the persistence of a sich.
This is 脙 漏 脙 漏 N of the questions that have been set for centuries.Many philosophers have been trying to answer this question. I myself find the philosophy of the Stoa the best answer to this question. As an answer to this question, I will explain the Stoic vision.
The philosophy of the Stoa states that nature contains a certain system and 芒 鈧?虄logos芒 鈧劉 (structure).Nature is thus guided by necessary causal links between events. Because we also have a 芒 鈧?虄logos芒 鈧劉 (reason/ratio), we can therefore know nature with our 芒 鈧?虄logos芒 鈧劉. With our 芒 鈧?虄logos芒 鈧劉 we can also see the necessity of every event.
In addition, the Sto脙 漏 Ines believe that 芒 鈧?虄eudaimonia芒 鈧劉 (literally good wit or happiness) is the highest good. They think that this can be achieved by not letting themselves affect emotions.We as humans have emotions. We also have to recognise these emotions as such. We need to be aware of these emotions and then, as a real stoic, let these emotions slide away from us as it were. If we do this, then we reach the state of 芒 鈧?虄ataraxia芒 鈧劉 (unenanity). This is obviously very difficult.
Now to come back to the question asked: the Stoics believe that because we can see the necessity of even the most serious events, we can get rid of the emotions that evoke these bad events with us.This is how we are really and long term happy. I think we can be positive in the same way at the time of the greatest setbacks. We must learn to understand that the setback is necessary. We must realise that even though the setback seems to be unsurmountable, it is only part of the particular phenomenon of our own life.
Positively, the word does not tell me so much because I am not really myself and my life does not necessarily give reason.
But, one of the things that I am struggling to understand (and here will certainly not everyone agree), life has not been a goal to be happy.In my view, that is not really a good cause, because it is something that always focuses on the future.
If I have this or that or do then I am happy (one of the reasons that advertising works so well), it always seems to be about the future.But you have to live in the present. Also zo芒 鈧劉 n clich茅 do not you find?
Live in the present.Zo芒 鈧劉 N from the Luch seized phrase that people sometimes throw out as if it means something. Of course you live in the present where you would live differently.
I was educated severely religiues and went through the Hafiz Nihilistsche and Autheistische antitheistic hassles, which was not exactly a solution.And then I was really going to learn and search for myself.
芒 鈧?艗you do not Worry about the day of tomorrow because today’s day has its own zorgen芒 鈧?is there in the Bible, I choose to explain it differently than most probably would do, namely: if you set the right way today , behaving well and always trying to be honest you don’t have to worry about tomorrow because if you do this you will continue to improve the quality of your life.
Life is suffering, that is the way. That does not mean that there is no relative happiness or that you can feel good why these two would be out of each other.Accepting that there is a lot of only and then trying to do well so that the two weigh up against each other that has helped me the most.
And maybe that is a positive thing, but I would rather choose to mention the balance, seeing the balance between pain and suffering and all the good.
Life is a very special thing and the lessons we learn from how much pain we have and how we get up again are at least as special.
I would recommend to pay as little attention as possible to your past.There are so many things to consider about what would happen if that was not happening that it is a risk to want to go along. They all have one thing in common: whatever can happen in your life, these things have taken place.
Staying positive is often the hardest at the moment of setback itself.Otherwise it remains difficult, but you can soften the suffering. Once you have been around for a moment, and can accept things from yourself, you will have a different view afterwards.
Everyone has problems and everyone acts differently.Your problems are literally not those of another and that shouldn’t be the other way around.
The beginning at ‘ N each with trial and error.Or if you have had your first real love break. Or if someone has died. Everyone responds differently to adversity. With other feelings, thoughts or emotions.
You can ask for advice or find comfort and love how much you want.But that’s just pure distraction for yourself. That distraction only helps a certain period. If you have not accepted or got out of your own, then it will remain in your life. That way you will never learn to think positively.
At every stage of your life you get to deal with problems.Each one gets its own portions. And each serving is destined for everyone’s own. That is what makes you, that is YOUR character.
Positive thinking must come from yourself.That’s a personal challenge for everyone. And when you’ve got d芒 鈧劉 r behind, that’s another victory for yourself. That way you build your own pride and stand a bit more positively after another setback.
From trying to go that you never get on your plate anymore than you can handle.
People are mentally and physically much stronger than they think.