How do you notice that someone has bpd?

It’s not to say that you can use it to recognize people with borderline, or that everyone with borderline has all these features.But here are in any case some examples that can give an indication:

  • Too quick to tell personal details (to a stranger for example)
  • Equal intensely attach, also very intensely attach to friends/family/acquaintances, cling and do everything for the ones to make sure they still see him or her standing and not leaving
  • Sometimes they come very childly and dependent on them and expect you to be responsible for removing their fears and listening to their feelings (they want you to take care of them and love them).

Often you see that they expect this from others, but do not know that they are not there for others. “He/she will never even ask how it goes with me”-but never actually ask another one.

  • Impulsive actions and regret it later, exceed their own boundaries
  • Intense mood swings throughout the day.
  • They experience emotions as very violent and painful

  • Take things very personal (message too late, rejection, not listen to their feelings) and often suffer from suspicion (they are talking behind my back, they hate me, they are all against me, compliments are not meant, they mean the Bad, they leave me)
  • Afraid that the other will leave them, they are very wary and often think of threats that this will really happen.
  • Something small can already trigger this fear

  • Often do not know what they want and who they are, change quickly and often from profession/job or have rap varying life goals, interests, norms and values.
  • They often go very much into the minds of others and change their mind quickly (don’t seem to have a real opinion)

  • Quickly jealous, many and often have conflicts and discussions within a relationship, very busy with whether their partner still loves them and whether they will not leave them for another (partner test if he/she still loves him/her, also with friends and family)
  • Lying (attempted to be loved or accepted or by impulsiveness)
  • Black and white thinking (someone or something is good or bad)
  • Always be among the people, can not be good alone
  • Often means use or addictive acts to suppress the intense emotions (alcohol, drugs, binge-eating, gambling, money-squander) and sometimes have debts
  • Self-damage (beating, cutting, burning)
  • There is not a fixed pattern of behavior that you may notice that someone has borderline.The symptoms vary a lot of intermediaries, and in the person with borderline the behavior depends very much on the context.

    I write this anonymously because there are some private experiences between those who don’t go about myself.I have many friends and family with borderline and also work in that target group. I will mention a number of points which I personally encounter a lot.

    • The person seems to be very different per situation.

    So I had a friend who was completely different when we accidentally encountered a knowledge of him. You won’t recognize that person back. And once that other is gone, it seems to be ‘ normal ‘ again.

  • The norms and values can be very changeable, as well as opinions on arbitrary matters.
  • Sometimes someone seems to contradict themselves even in a sentence. There is confusion about what someone thinks, because many people with borderline do not seem to have a sense of a core in themselves. As an example, I can say that first someone finds something very nice about another, but then says to disturb.

  • If you ever get a relationship or friendship with someone with borderline, you may be dealing with (seemingly) sudden mistrust.
  • This can occur in all sorts of forms, for example an extreme reaction to a forgotten message, crooked eyes if you kept talking to another one for too long. In quiet borderline it can take some time before you get overwhelmed with paranoia and then it is wrong right. Example: I had been friends with my ex for a couple of years before we got a relationship and I had dropped in that time that a joint friend in appearance was a bit more my type. That came to me in the final relationship to be very expensive, whenever I went to do what with that friend I came home in a cross trial.

  • Besides, you also see that many people with borderline attach excessive value to their appearance.
  • A sincere compliment can make that person flourish, even more than usual. I experience with different people that they really are going to shine. It’s not really a distinctive feature, but still worth naming here:)

  • Eternal doubt.
  • And not necessarily what is going to be eaten tonight, but more that you do not know whether or not the person will remain friends with you, because because of their own abandonment fear they seem to be able to hit the flight every time something they find scary. It is therefore important to keep the best possible communication, so that doubts can be discussed as soon as possible. This is not necessarily distrust in an individual, more of a problem in adhesion.

  • Men often hear you discussing the good and evil in themselves.
  • I’ve heard this as “Jeckyll and Hyde” “Angel and Devil” and simply “I don’t know if I’m good or bad”. In women I hear that less, but that can lie to me. Here you hear “splitting” in back. You will often hear that the person is not well aware of who he/she is when you ask for a moment.

  • As a last thing about the already mentioned identity diffusion: If you are careful, someone with borderline cannot tell a well-running life story in which they only describe themselves, their world only gets color when another is involved. I once came to a girl at home which I knew she had borderline and it struck me that she had made drawings about a particular Disney movie.
  • When I asked her why she specifically kept her film her so she didn’t know anything. It seemed to be “empty” why she liked something. A friend ever wanted to give me his entire CD collection of his former favourite band, it didn’t do anything anymore. As if memories of themselves are wiped out.

    And it’s often the sweetest people, it’s always cozy and fun.I hope this can help.

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