I think there are two aspects to depression.
The first aspect is suicide.As long as you keep the option of suicide open the depression is without soil. At the very bottom is the opportunity to step out of life. Now depression is not quite the same as suicidal thoughts, but they do affect each other.
The core of suicidal thoughts is that you don’t want to die at all.So, in order to make the suicide possible, you have to hate yourself even more. Suicide is also very violent. Also if you want to bring yourself with poison or by suffocation in the sleep. It remains very violent. When you are working with these thoughts you create a kind of psychological disorder, whereby you shut yourself down and make unreachable. This is separate from the depression itself, but there are a lot of suckers who turn themselves around and so in their depression also through these thoughts are pressed extra in the depression. Instead of getting to the top of your depression, try to go under it.
Around my thirtieth (and also before) it seemed to me best to make myself out of lace.Eventually someone advised me not to do it. Then I chose for life. Exactly as it is. Before that I had more attitude that I had not asked for life. Why does all this misery occur? By choosing for life I take responsibility, but it also gives tremendous freedom. I can really do everything, nothing is so shameful that it would still give cause for suicide, because that option just doesn’t exist anymore.
The second aspect is the depression itself.After my fortieth I just ended up in a depression. A kind of midlifecrisis. It started with crying showers. I then worked on a drawing with blue and green and I thought it came through the colors. Then also a kind of lethargy. Everything became grey. There was no more fun. Reading didn’t work either. Preferably I stayed on bed all day, but came out, because I did know I could be better active.
A major core in the depression is that it is self-directed aggression. I found myself only a failed dick, really worthless.Better death, even though suicide was not an option. Disgusting myself.
I also had a few emotional blockages, which I never did anything about, then I started doing what.By looking for the confrontation with those blockages. Also whine and anger. Only then learned how feelings work. You have to solve those emotional blockages in the sentimental life itself.
Because a major problem of depression is self-directed aggression, you must learn to focus that aggression on the other.So others hate it. You can also fling everything of course, but in your self-hatred you are going to destroy that which you find valuable. Is not so convenient.
I remember well remembering how I got into my own room on women’s schold.’ Dirty rusks ‘, so I could really rant. My own friend meanwhile in her own room. It made me really good that she sat there within earshot, like a shining sun.
Many depressive people are often found very sweet and nice.They do not focus their aggression on the other. You must truly live up to hatred and anger. I think this is very important. Not to be sweet and nice.
I have learned to love myself mainly through language therapy.Then I said again and again to myself. “I may exist. I love it. ” Every time it shoots through my head “make you from Kant, Yeral”, I say “I may live. I am valuable. ” This is quite effective, but does not work fast. The change goes with small steps.
Every day was not only grey and gray, it was also less grazing.Sometimes I had to laugh even. I also stuck to those better moments. While you are depressed, you can develop an optimistic vision. This can also be with language therapy. “It makes no sense. There is no end to this. I’m really worthless “, change it to” it does make sense. It does succeed. I am valuable. ” If you are still so depressed, you can play language games.
I think that especially the confrontation with my emotional blockages and discovering my sentimental life have ensured that the depression has disappeared again. When confronting your blockages, you actually meet your fears.I also learned how emotions are linked and how you can only process them by undergoing them. Other than a thought, an emotion is not just about it, but they continue to last longer. Thoughts are electric and emotions are chemical. The emotions you really have to live in your emotional life, your body, undergo. So not intellectually. Rather with the mind at zero.
I can still remember how the depression came to an end.During the crying I thought “it’s just self-pity”, so I had cried enough. That was actually a kind of abrupt end to the depression. After one and a half years. When a few months later autumn began, November, I started crying again. “Oh, no, I don’t want to, not again,” and it was not continued.
So these are my experiences and my vision.Maybe you can do something with it. Great luck!
Allow me to answer this question in my limited Dutch.Two years ago, I went through the hardest period of my life after coming home from the Netherlands. I hated everything in my hometown, I miss my life in the Netherlands. In addition, I was deceived by my boyfriend, robbed, and lost my wallet, phone, laptop and master thesis design. I cried every day and couldn’t sleep or eat. I lost my thought course to the few seconds. It felt like I was sitting in the bottom of a deep hole and couldn’t get out. What I did was:
- Surround myself with friends who have been depressed
They understand my pain and what happens in my mind.Every day they checked me out and were listening to me. I was really negative to myself and they help me see life positively. They also presented me with meditation and a psychologist.
- Find professional Help
For the first time in my life I saw a psychologist.I wasn’t sure if they could help. She helped me to see why I feel what I feel and what I can do to make me feel better by a few therapies.
- Take a walk every day
Training was too difficult.So around my neighborhood I walk every day. It is of course better to train, better a few minutes than nothing.
I start and finish my day with meditation to soothe my mind.I do it 10 minutes but more if I can. I like Headspace, Insight Timer and Ruby Wax books to introduce meditation.
- Set a target
With the help of the psychologist and my friends, I make a daily plan with small progress.When I work towards a goal, I forget a little about my grief. Even if I was very slow.
It was not easy at all but I slowly felt better.Being on a ‘ rock bottom ‘, changed me a lot. Sometimes I still feel low or inferior but it is good, life is never flat. I hope you understand my answer and I can help anyone who has the same situation.
First: Has it been determined that there is a depression?
If so, seek help.If no, seek help, because you may be depressed.
Help will come in the form of therapy.There are several therapies that the doctors have at their disposal.
A few tips that help everyone, depression or not:
- Eat healthy and varied
30 minutes per day is recommended. This is then such that you sweat a little bit or that you just start sweating.
A club, volunteer work, a games lunch at your games shop, if you have any contact with others.