If you are sure you are right, everything becomes much easier.It’s not hard to be assertive if you know you’re right.
If it is a matter of a decision you must decide what is the priority: this restaurant or the choice of the other person.Often the other will be pleased to accept an assertive decision.
It is not necessary to shout-only quietly to insist.
With every task you get you politely wonder why?
In a conversation the mantra ‘ is that so? ‘ use.
That may start with ‘ no ‘ to say to, for example, a salesman on the street.
Then you can practice with unsolicited your opinion to say at restaurant or in a clothes shop.
Furthermore, in unjust situations you can say what you think.
Finally, you just say what you want and don’t want about anything you want to say.
Being assertive is just being honest.
Start each affirmative reply with comments with â € œyes andâ € instead â € œ Yes Maarâ €.
= > You will be stronger with arguments than with excuses.
Replace each negative answer â € œno because + series of excusesâ € by â € œi am sorry for that I can not doenâ €.
= > You are not obliged to explain your motives for not doing anything.
Say instead of â € œdankjewelâ € â € œthank you I appreciate that tremendously.
= > You personally involve the other in this way and it shows directly.
Being Assertive is your being worn with respect for others while also asking for respect for yourself. When you are assertive, you can accurately express your feelings, ask for what you want and say no to things you don’t want.It is easier to see your needs and desires filled in and get the respect of others.
People often fall into one of three behavioural styles: passive, assertive, or aggressive.
Passive or subassertive means that you are inclined to respond to the wishes of others while ignoring your own needs and desires. You have a hard way to say no, to make decisions and to have eye contact.Moreover, you do everything to avoid confrontations. If you get on restaurant fish instead of the ordered chicken, you keep your mouth.
Aggressive people are inclined to just fill their own needs at the expense of others. They often lose their patience, take decisions for others, and sometimes call to get their way.Often they use confrontations to express what they want.
Assertive people take into account both their own needs and those of others. They can tell their feelings and when there is a disagreement they can answer respectfully.They can ask for help to others, be confident and able to make decisions. They can say no to people or situations they don’t want. And they feel responsible for their own feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Attention: Not everyone is assertive in all situations.
How can you assertively ask a question?
To formulate a request in an assertive way, you can use THE DESC script. DESC stands for Describe, Express, Specify, and Consequences.
Tip: Practice this script for different situations where you want to be more assertive.
Also write it out and practice pronouncing it.
Describe.Describe the behavior/situation as completely and objectively as possible. Just the facts! â € Œlast time when Johan and Linda came to visit, I just polished the whole house. â €
Express.Express your feelings and thoughts about the situation/behavior. Formulate it with â € œikâ € and not with â € œjijâ €. A phrase that you start withâ € jijâ € pushes people often into the defensive, making them not going to listen to you. â € Œas a Result I felt exhausted and angry. â €
Specify.Specify which behavior/result you prefer. â € Œi would like to have that we both brush the house. â €
Consequences.Specify the consequences: both the positive and the negative consequences. â € Œif we work together, the House will be clean quicker and we can enjoy the visit together. â € Or â € Œif we work together, I will feel less fatigued And interested. â €
How can you apply the DESC technique?Feel free to send me a preview or share it on this blog.
â € Œno zeggenâ € is still so™ N assertiveness technique. EÃ © n that you can save a lot of time.How you do that, you read in the book â € œmore Time in 12 stappenâ €.Source