Anxiety and procrastination are symptoms of one and the same pattern: perfectionism.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with things to do well.
As long as it is your free choice.
But what if ‘wanting‘should‘ be ‘?And you can not be more different?
Perfectionism is the ‘ te mode ‘: Wanting to do too well, too much work, to be difficult to choose, to structure too strongly.
Perfectionism is the harmful ‘te‘ that makes you unhappy and tired.It leads to burnout and other illnesses.
Perfectionism has nothing to do with good performance. It is not the same as ensuring quality.
It is a restrained pattern that sends out the unconscious thinking, doing and feeling of people suffering from it.This way of controlling is not efficient because it ensures continuous stress and makes people unhappy and sometimes also sick.
How do you get perfectionism?
Perfectionism usually arises in childhood as a survival mechanism.At some point a child (usually unconscious) determines that it does not meet, is NOT OK, as it is at that time.This will give the child a way of thinking and developing to be seen (by parents, teachers, family, boyfriends,..) and get confirmation that it is OK.
When does perfectionism become harmful?
This need for external confirmation is often even stronger over the years, and the child’s life and later the adult will be mastered.
In the place of becoming a free adult , we become as the true slave to the pattern.Usually the pattern manages to help people ‘ move forward ‘ in life and make careers. But the price paid for it is high. Instead of whistling through life, we are governed by stress, fears, countless mofood, feelings of guilt, etc.
But I believe we as humans are meant to be free adults.Such a person begins to see himself and with respect for his unique being, for his abilities, for his body.From this self-love you can connect with others, with real respect and real love. From that free adulthood, you can also choose a job/career that really suits who you are and what you feel like your mission.So someone puts his thinking and feeling in the service of being free.
But perfectionism does a lot differently with you.It makes your life complicated, full of mofood and stress.Knowing who you really are and what you really want is very difficult and you are not actually working on that. Thinking dominates and often thinking is very tiring.
What symptoms of perfectionism do you recognize?
1.Attachment urge: You do everything to make others happy, you can’t say no, you’re taking away yourself and avoiding conflicts…
2.The bar (too) high leggenfor yourself and others: you want to be the best employee and best parent, everything should be perfect…
3.Fear Of failure and other fears: You leave opportunities at work, feel cramped, have fear of being abandoned, fear of speaking in a group…
4.Strong control urge: you like that things run like you want, you plant and structure a lot, organizes, creates to-do lists…
5.A lot of thought, often worrying: your negative thoughts revolve circles, you’re not going to action, your inner critic Stata in the foreground, you analyze a lot,…
6.Not quickly satisfied with yourself: You feel Small and unimportant, you are always unsure about Your own being able, you compare yourself with others and feel yourself the lesser, you have a low self-esteem…
7.Procrastination: You are busy with inhabits and then experience stress to get the deadline, you can not motivate yourself, you are constantly out…
8.Difficult to choose or decide: Choosing is losing, you keep on the road, you do a long time on a new purchase or you can hardly choose the menu…
9.Continue , do not giveup: You are going over your own limits, you are sick and yet you are going to work, you are allergic to faint people, you remain in a relationship that does not run well…
10.Too great sense of responsibility: for your work, for your children…, you cannot delegate and take on tasks of others…
Can I free myself from perfectionism?
Are you too tired of all that should?
Does perfectionism limit your growth?
Do you want to be more confident in life, feel more free to stand up for what you want?Do you really want to enjoy all the beautiful things you do and find more inner peace?
Then development-oriented coaching of perfectionism (or OCP庐) can help you.It is a powerful methodology that frees you from the pitfalls of perfectionism. Thanks to this methodology, your compulsively changes ‘must‘ in a pleasant ‘want‘ and ‘can‘.The methodology is based on the principles surrounding internal parts that strongly control our thinking, doing and feeling.
The result?The cooperation of the internal parts leads to the ‘free adult‘, which is authentic and spontaneous in the world.Improve relationships, you experience a greater feeling of happiness, you dare to be yourself, you live with focus, break through addictions… and anxiety and procrastination are considerably reduced.
Fear of failure and procrastination do not have to have anything to do with each other, but the one can be the result of the other:
Because you are afraid to fail, show your procrastination.
As a result, you come in time distress, you get stressed and nervous so chances are you are going to fail -> Self-fulfilling prophecy.
How can you (quickly) get off your anxiety?It will differ from the severity of the fear and of the person, but you may ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen to me?”.
In your case, your training stops.How much do you really think?
You don’t have much to know that you have already proven that you can do it, you just have to succeed.Point.
So if you really think your education is important, then you put everything on the side, you take your responsibility for your own behavior and go 100%.Make yourself and your surroundings proud.
I wish you an awful lot of success and hope you succeed!