Yes, the human deficit and the tragedy: Áfleren is very much harder than teaching.Two suggestions.
- Make up for every bad habit what the opposite would be, and avoid the word ‘ not ‘.
So not: smoking, and as opposed non-smoking. Well: smoking, and then something not to combine with smoking: knitting, sports, playing flute etc. Think for as long as you have something that you also have a grounding in, otherwise it will be a criminal exercise. So: too much food → smaller plate, less cooking, direct there after a hike, fixed times to eat, while eating every two minutes singing a song, putting pans at a distance so you have to stand up to take another serving, take small portion and when it is on the VRA Ag ‘ I really still hungry ‘, after the first serving of running food, etc.
Do this for two weeks. Study the schedule and see where you can do less. Example: between 3 and 4 three cigarettes. That should be: two cigarettes. Etc.
It is obviously the question of why you want to get rid of that bad habit.Because maybe you don’t want that at all. Well, it also becomes nothing.
Difficult.But a Tip from Tom to get rid of smoking, which is considered by most people to be a bad habit:
Before stopping, hold the cigarette (or cigar or pipe) in another way bite.With the other hand, between thumb and pink, between the toes. Also inhaling in a strange posture is good. Between the legs through or behind your neck along. A combination is best. Try to postpone your morning peuk a little longer every day.
Here are some exaggerated examples, but it really works.It’s a great way to change the habit.
This principle may also work in other rigid habits.
Each habit consists of three parts: the trigger, the action and the reward.
The trigger is a feeling, emotion, reminder or incentive that triggers the habit.This can be a feeling of appetite, a moment of low energy or the smell of coffee.
The action is what you do in response to that trigger.That can be and cigarette smoking, biting your nails, but also something positive like an apple eating or watering the plants.
The reward is the result of the action.The nicotine of a cigarette directly give a dopamine rush, biting your nails works like a distraction.
If you have a habit that you want to change, it is important to identify all three.You probably know the action, because that’s where you want to go. Most people focus on that action, without studying the rest well. That makes changing a habit very difficult, but sometimes it succeeds.
But you have successfully if you also identify well what the trigger is and what reward you get.To change a habit now, you are looking for a new action that will also rewardyou.If you choose an action that does not reward you, chances are that after a while you fall back on the old action you wanted from.
- Trigger: Energiedip After two hours of work
- Action: Smoking outside with a group
- Reward: Distraction from your work, social contact, nicotine
What could be an alternative:
- Trigger: Energiedip After two hours of work
- Action: Start drinking with a group of coffee
- Reward: Distraction from your work, social contact
You see that the habitation has changed a bit. But there is certainly a reward and that is important.Also take the same time for this coffee break as before the old smoke break, so don’t just pour coffee back to your workplace.
If you want to know more about habits, how they work and how you can change them, I can recommend the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.Success with changing unwanted habits!
They are just poorly executed.Somewhere you drop stitches that bring you into trouble.
So either you learn to do better, or you shouldn’t admit it to the impulse because the system will work against you.That system responds to lax behavior. You should not award the system.
Find your laziness or sadness in your behavior, then take a look at yourself and your habits.Do you eat and sleep enough, don’t you get too much sugar, alcohol, meat and vitamins inside? The influence of food and drink on cognition and behaviour is enormous.
Do you do things every day that you wish you did?
Most people would like to have more control over certain behaviors: from addictions like smoking, too much drinking, gambling or junk food eating to emotional behaviors like anger eruptions and screaming.Or even too much shopping.
We are habit animals. And sometimes we don’t have control over our habits, but has a certain habit of controlling us.Even though we know what the consequences are.
Knowledge of the risks and consequences is therefore often enough to motivate us to change.
We know what danger our behaviour entails, and yet we are doing it!
But luckily there is also good news.
And that’s called: Self observation.
When we observe ourselves, we invite the adult in ourselves to take the lead and overcome destructive behaviours.
How do you do that?
You put a step backwards and you look at yourself as a neutral or compassion observer would see you.That ‘ distance ‘ takes you out of your stressed and scattered on-yourself-focused state that leads you to bad behaviours.
You easily observe the moment. And when you do, miracles happen.
These are some simple methods:
- Appoint what you are doing without judgement.
“Now I’m doing X.“
- See yourself.
Imagine that you look at yourself from a distance.
What does that look like? This works particularly well for situations where you have a conflict with another. When we see ourselves and our actions, everything changes.
‘What really happens here?
What do I really want? ‘ “What am I trying to achieve here?” “What does this do for me?”
But what if I keep doing it anyway?
What if you observe yourself and still do the unwanted behaviour?
Don’t be surprised.It took Indra weeks of self observation to honor her tendency to eat late at night still had overcome. But before that she had done it for almost 20 years. A few weeks is still reasonably fast, don’t you think?
In habits and addictions, there are often deeper unanswered needs that are best faced before this self-observation becomes meaningful.
Overcoming this process of self-observation and unwanted habits can be a bit of time and possibly some coaching questions.But if you can apply this regularly, you will be amazed by the results.
Bad habits, even if you have been living for a long time, are weak against the power of self-observation.