It is actually more veeeeeeeeel easier to forget a narcissist, than any other ex-partner. And that I write THAT, really is punishment, considering I wanted to marry (for the first time in my life I WANTED to marry and I was even engaged to him) with my narcissist.He was sincerely the only man in my life and the first man to have touched my heart.
Although our relationship slowly evolved from paradise to a completely incomprehensible battlefield full of misunderstandings, strange discussions, an inexplicably lost heart connection and a lot of loneliness, I was determined to To keep fighting him.I understood the source of all the resulting miseries and lost happiness and wanted to fight to revive our love from the beginning of our relationship.
The turning point came when my partner wanted me to sign a document with our notary that would have very unpleasant financial consequences for me if my partner would ever end our relationship
Despite the totally unreasonable demand of my partner, I have continued to talk to him unfairly.The only consequence of this was ever-growing intimidation and manipulation. He literally told me, “If you love me then you sign that!” etc. Remember that at that time I was still head over heels in love and wanted to stay with him.But drawing a legal document that would saddle me in the worst case scenario (going apart) with a debt mountain, that was even too far for me.
So I left our house. Initially with the intent of an unbelievably naive hope that by my departure he would think, become more reasonable and realize that he asked something inpossibly of me.But you guessed it: I left with suitties full of sadness and he did NOTHING!
He ignored me completely!The man of my life did not let me know anything for my 40th birthday a few days later. He did look for me where I stayed.I thought to finally talk it out. I wanted to pour into his arms. But no though! He wished that I drew that document and even raised the amount I would have to pay if he ended the relationship. About love, any rapprochement or godbetert opossibly acknowledging a possible awkward approach to him was not called a word.
My reaction: Reaffirm my love, bring my grief into communication, etc.With only venom and hatred as a result. I was devoured by incomprehension, sadness, anger,… you name it芒 鈧?娄 all I thought my life was going to be -eternal with my sweetheart being together and being happy -was just gone for a few weeks time.
AND THEN THE TURNAROUND CAME WITHIN ME
What I forgot my dearest cutie in a split second.
I wanted to know how it came that someone who loves me asks me to draw a document that could have terrible consequences for me?!
So (I didn’t know anything about narcissism at the time) I am-simpler it can almost not-go googl’en on the term ‘unconditional love‘.
I wanted to understand that understanding and so I also hoped to get a view of what had happened to that beautiful beautiful man I loved so much.If I could understand it, maybe I could make contact with him, then we could talk about it and then we might have got stronger together.
That out of the box search brought me to some (then for me) inexplicable reason on all sorts of articles about narcissism.English and Dutch. That topic turned out to be quite a lot of people busy. Strangely I found that.
At first I was very cynical: ‘again of those losers who hate their ex and but do not want to realise that they may also have a share in their lost relationship‘, but learn and curious as I am, I have read with an open visor.
And I swear to You: I read the entire course of my broken relationship. From the love bombing and the clever, empathic and handsome trophy Wife (D脿t was once another way to look at myself, say:-/) to the strange confusing communication and silence treatments (my narcissist likes to sleep in my neighborhood, it is also quiet , of course:-)). I thought he was sick and was very worried.It just turned out to be a variation on the silence treatment. He was creative though.
I have CONTINUED to READ, continue to absorb information, with open mouth and bulging eyelets I have staged to the Internet and read article by article all the recognizable terrible situations and emotions that I have experienced.
THEREFORE I was able to no longer look at my partner and my past relationship as to the great loss of my life or my greatest failure.I could look straight through the relationship itself and just saw it as it was: a mechanism of someone without any self-esteem who wanted to belittle me to feel better themselves and to do his own goesting.
So my advice to forget your relationship with a narcissist: l
Read!Read! Read! Analyze!, try to look at what you recognize from the relationship with your own narcissist from a distance and ACCEPT THAT WHAT YOU SAW AS YOUR BELOVED IS JUST a PERFECTLY CAMOUFLAGED parasite!
So far we are already.
Half of the work has already been cleared
Moving insight, Ontonuchtering and disappointment are all your part.
Now still the other half.
That fills you back up. Slow maybe, but believe in it and give it time.
Now you still have the REDISCOVERY of what you have once again awarded joy and tranquility when you were still yourself or, for my part, when you were a child or a teenager.
For example, I’ve always been a huge animal lover, from when I could barely talk or walk.And as a teenager I was very passionate about fashion and beauty
Both things I left loose in the relationship with my narcissist: my dog found him unmanageable and lived temporarily with my parents (far from me) and when I dressed nicely I was a slut who only looked for attention from other men.
Slow but sure I’ve reamed my passions and I felt myself being back.I could really laugh back and relax me back and on that piste I went further and I am happy every day and I make fun.
I’m always back together with my dog and getting nicely dressed:-)
How wonderful is life as you live from your own passions.
People tell me how much fun they find that I make back smiles and jokes.They recognize me back! That gives me so much energy!
I would like to say that I am only 2 months away from the man I thought about 3 months ago: NEVER want to be without him, I am so glad I got to know him.
Try to get a passion for it.Find something you are good at and get the best in it. Find something you want to put your time into. Try not to make your luck depend on another. Try to stand on your own feet and try to forget him/her. Then you will automatically open up again to new people in your life. Do not stay in the past and heel knots. It’s time for new things. Look like that loser and continue with your own life. Create short and long term goals. Find a goal in life. Go to work. Start with a new training. Go play an instrument. Go acting. Go sports. Go eat healthy. Clean up your house. Take good care of yourself. Go to the hairdresser. Buy new clothes. Invest in yourself (not in the narcissist). Take care of rhythm and balance in your life. Take matters into your own hands and make some of them. That narcissist does not do it for you.
You don’t.Don’t forget. But out of your life put though.
Always when in doubt, view a topic on YouTube of Petra van Deijl, Johan Persyn or other experience experts.
Consistently put a cross between you of roses with sharp thorns.
And I meditate a lot.Brings back tranquility.
Lots of hiking in nature.
Sauna, pamper yourself.
You have to go through.Become stronger with therapy.
Own pitfalls to get out of it.
Consciously go live, self-care.
The feeling is to overtake your consciousness.
That takes a while.
But it comes.
Then all things to put in your diary.
And hopefully meet a true love, which you love with it.And that is true.