Had and if does not exist.
I have had to repeat this phrase until I got mad about it.You know what it is, I’m someone who thinks in scenarios. What are the possibilities with each event and what can result from it is something I have cultivated with friends and family since childhood.
Although it can lead to great conversations it can often get bogged down in dreamy and afterwards analyze everything completely broken.Although this has healthy aspects, this behavior can lead to self-destruction.
Every moment you have different routes that you can take.Some are truly life-altering (I go away with him/her?), some less (I take a Twix or not).
At this moment you cannot change your past… And if does not exist
You don’t know what the future is going to bring….If I do this, that can happen, or not
You have only now. Where you have learned from the past, have desires for your life and now can move in a way you can achieve the things you want.
Had and if does not exist, what now?
I also recognise these thinking patterns as phases in my life in which I look for things and in which I stand still, in retrospect.Usually I don’t realize it right away, that I’m too much squeacher. But in the end I know it again: For me there is nothing that works except for a rigorous change.
I usually buy two sets of garbage bags and I rent a trailer.Everything that reminds me of things that have not passed or that clog my home or office, including the contents of barn, the fridge and the kitchen cabinets will look like.
I can really do that for days.Sometimes I go through things two times, or three, on different days. There must be things that I always see and that are bothering me, so is my conviction. I go through sorting and throw everything in the bag until the feeling of ‘ I only ‘ has disappeared.
Often I come across some writing, some old administration or a wrong buy; Souvenirs, empty bottles, gifts that I did not want, clothes that are old, a pile of one or another, last full of trash and cables, of which I have pockets filled with lots of fun from me when I’m on the landfill.
And then I clean things up, I sort with fresh reluctance my administration and I start again with good courage to a new adventure.
For me this is the only way, you could try it and maybe you have something to it.
The tragicomic irony is that if you do that long enough, it becomes a self-propagating spiral circle: “How would life have been if I had not wasted so much time thinking how life could have been if I had embarked on another path?”
Luckily, you don’t feel sorry anymore when you’re dead.
If you are trapped in a circle of thoughts-a kind of vortex-then what you need to do:
-Unconditional, stop immediately.Do not argue, ask no questions, just stop right away.
-Distract you a time, counting up to 10 or 20, reading something, visualizing something… Anything, so you don’t immediately return to that stream of thoughts.
Furthermore, you realize very well that it does not make any sense to grind over what could have been.On the contrary, because it also spoils your life today and, if you do nothing, tomorrow.
Just to move forward, to see what’s left for you, and never to look, what’s over, you can’t do anything about it.Marsh.