An open, honest, respectful coexistence, in my opinion, would not feed the jealousy of the partner.Of course, it also depends on the partner. The most jealous are mostly those who are unfaithful themselves (“what I think and do myself, I trust everyone else”).
Jealousy is not only the fear that the partner (I am now, for simplicity as a partner, from a male person) might be attracted to another person, but also serves the regulation of distance and closeness.For both the jealous and the possibly even unconscious, jealousy in the other “inflamed”.
As a rule, this is also often about dependencies, which are to be controlled in this way, among other things.Some people cannot be faithful because they can never fully engage with another. They are afraid of letting a person get too close to them and in this way keep the “doors open” (externally). Then jealousy and infidelity are used as a means of power and manipulation. In these cases, the partner feels, “If you’re not like me, I’ll go somewhere else.” His own inability to open his heart and world to another and to go into the depths with one another plays a role in such cases.
You basically don’t have to prove to anyone that you’re loyal.It is the task of the jealous man to know what and why they fear that the other might cheat them and/or behave disloyally. Unless there have been good reasons in the past for your partner to have less confidence.
However, your task is to recognize your own motives.So to recognize where your partner’s jealousy is good for you without judging it as “good” or “bad,” “right,” or “wrong.” It is very human behaviors, to play with emotional themes such as jealousy and to try out how far benefits and disadvantages can be experienced for themselves.
You can ask yourself the following questions about problem solving:
How do you feel(!) if your partner is jealous?Do you feel more loved? Do you have more rights to enforce your issues when he’s anxious? Is it good to comfort him, to reassure him, to have the “power!” about his condition?
Are you disappointed that he has no confidence in you?Do you feel humiliated because, for example, he thinks sex is more important to you than he is? Are you afraid he could punish you if you can’t convince him of your “innocence”? To what extent do you have the impression that the topic is being used as a pretext for your partner to grant more rights or to finds a reason to behave (also) unfairly towards you?
To what extent is his jealousy justified?Are there reasons that are understandable to you? Do you still feel appreciated and loved in your partnership? Are you ready to answer your partner when they feel insecure? Do you spend enough time together? Is your sex life full and satisfying? Are there unspoken and unsatisfactory needs in you or your partner? Is your partner still sexually attractive and arousing for you? Do you take yourself and your partner seriously? Do you trust yourself (self-confidence)? How well can you rely on yourself?
Where do you see other issues in your life, and your partner’s life, where the question of trust is at stake?How do you assess your trust in other people and especially in your partner?
These are all questions that one can ask oneself in order to discuss this topic for oneself and thus to help oneself and the other to answer the answers not only outside, but from within.